Black Rose

Chapter 1 : Past Shadows

*Please check out Ileana's character collage, up ^^^*

Ileana's Pov

Ileana Dela Cruz. That's my name—a name I wish I could strip away like an old coat that doesn't fit anymore. People hear it, and their heads tilt, their voices rise with curiosity, and their questions are almost rehearsed: "Are you related to the vice prime minister? Is he your father? An uncle?"

I hate it. Hate the attention. Hate the assumptions. I'm not just a name, not just some extension of my family's social status and legacy. But no one sees that. No one cares to, hence why I try so hard to hide that I am part of Thee Dela Cruz family. Besides, so many people can share the same last name and still not be related, so thats how I have been getting away with it so far.

At least my hair is in my control. Or it should be. It's grown long—too long, brushing against my scapulas like an annoyance I can't escape. I prefer it a bit shorter, with soft bangs or just a wolf cut—something that feels more like me. So instead of getting a wolf cut like I have been doing recently, I decided to revive my high school bob with soft bangs, all by myself. Except I might visit the hair stylist to do the bangs; I usually mess those up and end up with uneven-chooped bangs, a total nightmare. 

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I was still admiring my fresh trim in the bathroom mirror until I had to go downstairs, where breakfast became the battlefield It always was.

"Oh, look who decided to chop it all off," Ailee's voice dripped with fake sweetness as I walked into the dining room. Her smirk widened when everyone turned to stare at me.

"Turning into a man doesn't cost much these days," my father said from behind his newspaper after just peeping at me for a few seconds. "Might as well commit to it fully."

My jaw clenched, the sting immediate. Like, relax, sir, it is just a haircut, and to be fair, I had not had it that short in a while, so how was that trying to be a man? I glanced at my mother, silently begging her to intervene. As always, she tried to smooth things over because, well, its her husband, and only she can get to him, it seems. 

"There's nothing wrong with her hair; it actually reminds me of her high school days; its cute." Mom said gently, placing a small box on the table in front of me. "And besides, that looks so much better than any other hairstyle on her." She was right though; shorter hair accentuates my facial features, and my hairstylist told me so herself, and its much easier to maintain.

I could've cried at her kindness. She gestured towards the box, urging me to open it. Inside was a delicate diamond necklace, simple and elegant—the kind I loved. I scrunched my eyebrows though, not sure why she just randomly brought one out of nowhere.

"Congratulations," she said with a smile. "I saw your test paper." 

"Oh that, thank you." I whispered, clasping the necklace around my neck.

For a brief moment, I felt seen, and my hard work was appreciated without me even having to try doing anything. Then my father had to just shatter within a few seconds, and like that my little bubble burst. 

"It's not even a 100%; I don't know why you are giving that to her, or is it just an excuse to spoil her even more?" He said, his tone dripping with derision. "Your brother always earned such gifts, and he worked hard enough for all of them."

I wasn't shaken about what he said about my hair or anything else—well, not until the moment he mentioned my brother. My chest tightened, the familiar lump in my throat threatening to choke me. He said so little, yet it was so impactful. 

Mom's hand darted to his, trying to calm him. "Enough, please." She said so calmly than I expected, and his piecing gaze vanished when he looked at her. At least the way he looks at her never changed. 

I stood abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor. I couldn't breathe in that room anymore.

"I gotta go now; I will be late." I said, slinging my bag on my shoulder without sparing anyone a second glance. 

"Ileana!" Mom's voice followed me as I fled, but I didn't stop. 

My father's words echoed in my head as the driver dropped me off at my varsity. My brother, his endless shadow of perfection that still lingers everywhere, rendering me imperfect in our father's eyes. It was always the same—constant reminders that I'd never be enough for him. That I'd always be the reason his son was no longer with us, as if he were the only one who was still grieving over his death. I too was still grieving, and I had the guilt that he died saving my life on my shoulders, yet our father never stopped to remind all of us about it.

"Ileana! Hey, Ileana!" Kyle's voice jolted me from my thoughts as he jogged over, his usual grin plastered on his face. 

"Hey," I said, forcing out the most genuine smile I could possibly pull out. 

"What's with the long face?" He inquired after studying my face for a few seconds.

"Nothing," I muttered, staring straight ahead.

He didn't buy it. "Your dad again?"

I nodded as my throat tightened, as I had to now replay what happened again. Kyle always knew, so there is just no point in trying to hide it. We have been friends since diaper days and know each other's every facial expression by now.

"What can I say? It's just the same story every day, yet it never hurts any less." I finally admitted, my voice breaking unintentionally. "I want to disappear. I want to stop existing. Every day it's the same. He looks at me, and all he sees is Zyair's killer, not his daughter. I'd rather it had been me who died that day."

"Don't!" Kyle said, firmly grabbing my shoulders. "Don't say that ever again. Your brother saved you because he loved you, and I know you wouldn't have hesitated to do the same for him. You can't keep punishing yourself for something that wasn't your fault. And your dad? He's grieving in his own twisted way. But you're still here, Ileana, and you have to make the most of your brother's sacrifice."

Tears blurred my vision as his words settled over me. "I just want him to see me," I whispered. "Just me, not my mistakes and not the reason for my brother's death. Just his daughter, like before."

Kyle wrapped me in a hug, and for a moment, the world felt a little quieter. It wasn't spinning  "Forgive yourself first," he said gently. "Then everything else will follow. You've got to believe that, and to be honest with you, you didn't even do anything wrong."

I nodded against his chest, imagining Zyair's smile. Kyle was right. My brother wouldn't want this for me; this isn't what he hoped for when he took a bullet for me. 

"Thank you," I murmured, stepping back and wiping my tears.

"Anytime," Kyle said, his grin returning. "Now, how about you join us after class? The guys and I are hanging out."

I hesitated. "I don't want to crash your 'boys' day out.'"

"Too late. They're expecting you," he said, grinning wider.

I rolled my eyes, but a real smile tugged at my lips. "Fine. But don't let Aiden talk to me, especially not today. I might ruin his damn face."

Kyle laughed. "The feeling's mutual. No need to get violent; besides, you punch like a girl."

"Excuse you, some girls can punch real hard. I just don't represent them well enough, and that's why I take boxing classes now. " I said, brushing past him as we headed to class.

"To be able to punch Aiden?" 

"No, to prove all of you wrong and maybe to punch Aiden's face." I grinned at the last part, and he smiled, not even shocked at what I said.

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* To be Continued *

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Sorry for the late update but
More is coming soon.
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Vanityheart_army