Farewell Dinner

Don't let me go

To get back home, I took all the little alleys to make sure Poyraz didn't run into me when he got back by car. However, when I get there, Poyraz's car is not parked in its usual place. He didn't come home.

I try to stay active in order to clear my mind, anyway unable to stay still. So when all the cleaning is done, here I am, emptying my suitcase, which was already buckled, then folding each item of clothing one by one to fill it again.

When I close it again, I find nothing else to do so I sit at my window and look outside. Poyraz is still not here. I feel the tears coming to my eyes again but I forbid myself to cry so I hold them back and go settle on my bed with my computer to watch a movie and think about something else.

When I start to doze off, I finally hear Poyraz's car pull up in front. Then, my window being open, I hear his footsteps on the pebbles as if he were approaching. He stops moving for a few seconds, before leaving. From a distance, I see him walk past my window, glancing in my direction, but since I'm in the dark, I know he can't see me. I wish things were different. I wish he would ask me to stay again. But things are as they are, so he won't.

After that, I'm fully awake, staring at the ceiling without being able to fall asleep. A long time past before I finally sink.

.

The next morning, I've some visitors which came to say goodbye as Melisa, Alper, Biricik, Görkem, Selma, Nehir... The first three must have organized themselves to not come at the same moment and the last three came all together. And, lastly, around midday, it's my mom who show up, bringing food for us to eat together.

And me who wanted to leave quietly, everyone knows it ! Poyraz was right, the power of gossips is huge on this island.

- Really canim, I'm so proud of you. You really took the best decision for yourself and your life. You deserve to follow your dream.

This last sentence boils the anger in me.

- Yes, I understood that you knew everything better than I did about my dreams. I attack sharply.

- I beg your pardon ? What do you mean ?

- What do you think ? You took the right to speak about my dream in my name so you know better, right ?

She wipes her hands angrily on her napkin.

- I see, you talked to Poyraz again, right ? I can't wait for you to leave this island and for this man to come out of your life !

- So well done mom, you achieved your goal.

- I'm delighted to hear it !

- Yeah, the fact that you've broke your daughter's heart doing so is none of your concern, right ?

- You will get over it, it was only a passing romance !

- Once again, you think you know better than me. I love Poyraz, mom. I declare. And you see, right know my heart is so badly broken that I don't even know if I could ever get over it.

- You're overrating.

- You think so ? I'm broken, mom ! Look at me ! I exclaim angrily, my eyes filled with tears. And if only you knew how badly I hate you for what you did to me. To us !

- If you were right, canim, if it was really the great love, nothing could have separated you ! But here you are. She said with a smugness that sickens me deeply.

- I don't understand... I admit. I don't understand how you can be so happy and satisfied to see me hurting like this. I'm your daughter ! You should want to see me happy but all you want is for me to follow your own ambitions for me !