Graveyard Shift

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT

When it was completely dark, stars prominent in the black sky, we all sat around the pyramid of fire and roasted marshmallows while warming up. "So," Anna began, "I want to know how we brought money, but failed to gather up clothes for this trip." I started to laugh with the rest of them.
"Oh - Malik," Kris called as he walked back from getting everyone water bottles. He smiled and sat by her cross legged. Daren was sitting between Anna and Erik. Julia sat next to Nick, cuddled into him with his arm around her. Eleanor was sitting next to me.
I actually took the time to look at everybody now. I first looked over Nick and Julia, the fire illuminating them. She was very slim with her hair reaching up to the middle of her back. I particularly liked her nose, which was pudgy and her smile was cute and bubbly. I found her really pretty, but not like how I looked at Eleanor. She was the kind of pretty that was more like a model or actress. And though that was great, I liked Eleanor because she wasn't this perfectly molded girl; her flaws were obvious and terrific. Her brown eyes stared into the flickering, orange flames as she snuggled in close to Nick. Nick scratched the stubble on his jaw as he absently stared at the fire; brown eyes glowing just as Julia's did so.
I then looked over at Erik and smiled at him smiling. He had a shaved head and darker skin with a thin smile to emphasize his nose, which was broad. And his eyes crinkled when he smiled, which seemed to be often.
Malik had wavy brown hair that was mussed from earlier that day and light-blue eyes that emphasized his features, such as the dimple in his left cheek with a lopsided smile he used all the time.
"Will," Eleanor said. I looked at her with curious eyes and saw the darkness underneath hers. I wasn't sure if it was because of the shadows the fire casted or because she was tired, though. She looked beautiful and outlined like a drawing. "Meet me here when everyone is asleep, okay?" She requested softly. I simply sniffed with a small smile. She smiled back, closed lipped and then lay back on the sand. Soon, it had a trickle effect and all of us were on our backs, lying in the sand and looking at the stars. "Do you see it?" She whispered. "Have you ever seen anything so magnificent?"
"No way," I answered in reply.
***
Once everyone was asleep in my tent, I quietly left the tent I was in and jogged up to the fire pyramid, plopping down into the now cool sand. I heard another tent unzip about seven minutes after I had been sitting down. I heard her run over to me and she sat down cross-legged next to me. She smiled at me as greeting. I returned the favor. It was easy to see in the light because of the moon and the stars being so bright. "Hi," she then said.
"Hi," I said. "Are we having a cecret ruler meeting?" I asked seriously with a hint of playfulness. She smirked at that and shook her head before looking at the unlit fire pyramid and resting her head on my legs, which were stretched out toward the pyramid.
"Today was kinda cool, yeah? Nick's really nice for letting us bombard their trip. I like everybody so far."
"I do too. They've been really cool to us."
"Yeah," she agreed. "William do you ever think about meaning?"
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, yeah; like, how everything has a meaning. Even a coincidence has a meaning, you know?" She sat back up now and looked at me, leaning on her hands. "You and me, we're supposed to have meanings, yeah? I mean, that's the whole point of being around, I think." She shrugged and shook her head a bit, "But sometimes I just don't know if there really is any point. Like, what good could I do for anybody in reality?" I wanted to tell her that she didn't need to do anything to help anybody because just being around was good enough, but I knew I couldn't. "Nobody actually knows who I am; nobody knows the real me. I don't let anybody in. I don't know, I guess it's that cliché don't hurt me hurt me tactic, but I can't help it." I wondered what triggered Eleanor to act this way sometimes. I wondered what set her off in this manner. These were the moments she snapped out of nowhere. These were the moments I wished she would tell me what was really bothering her and not just beat around the bush until we both got too tired and went back to our tents.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly. She looked at me and smiled. "Did I do something?" I asked.
"No, darling," She sighed out tiredly. I wasn't convinced. I mean, she was this extraordinary person that has meaningful questions on meaning in the universe and I questioned what was wrong with her. "You're perfect William, I promise. Have I ever lied to you?" She continued on after a moment of silence. I guess she knew what I was thinking. "I'm gonna go to bed, okay?" I cursed myself inwardly. I should've known it would make her leave. I should've responded with something metaphoric; something that would make her look at me and suddenly realize that under the stars, next to a lake, with a dead fire, she realized why she mattered and what her life's meaning meant.
A while later I heard another tent's zipper and looked over. I hoped it was Eleanor again, but it was Anna, surprisingly. "Hi," I said. She looked up from zipping it back up. She looked just as surprised as I felt.
"Oh, hi, Will," she replied and walked over. "You couldn't sleep either?" I wondered if Eleanor had known that she was awake this whole time. I wondered if Anna had heard her.
"I guess not," I said in realization. I had wondered why I was still up this whole time. "You?"
She shook her head and sat next to me. "So, are you running the graveyard shift; making sure we don't get mobbed by bears or anything?" I laughed lightly and shook my head.
"No, I would leave all of you behind." She laughed.
"Except Eleanor, of course."
I froze and pursed my lips. "Why would you say that?"
She gave me a look with a cocked up eyebrow and shrugged. I couldn't help and smile at her. She looked down at her feet, where her legs were stretched out forward and her palms gripped at her thighs. She exhaled slowly and then looked at me again. "Do you love her?" I was silent. In all honesty, it was such a big question and I was afraid to answer it because I knew what the answer was and it was so cliché, but I knew Eleanor hated cliché things. But I chewed upon my bottom lip and then nodded a few times.
"Yeah, I do." I then swallowed. "But, I'm a teenage guy who doesn't really know anything about love, you know?"
She nodded. "You know, I usually find it completely annoying when teenagers do that sort of thing. It's so cliché and stupid, ya' know? You don't really love them, you're only ignorant and had sex or something, you get what I'm saying?" I nodded because I did. What she was saying was exactly what I knew and wanted to think out loud. "But it's different with my friends sometimes. Like, other friends I would be thinking the same thing, but with you, I feel like you know why. You have reasons as to why you love her, but you can't quite explain it because you really do love her." I had never really had a conversation with Anna like this before. We had talked before, but not ever like this. "Like, Daren, he doesn't love me, you know? And I know we both know that. He thinks I'm this perfect idea, but I know he doesn't love me. And I don't love him. I mean, I don't like him in that way either, so that's obvious, but still." I nodded in understanding because that's how I felt too. Daren didn't love Anna. He didn't feel it to where he looked at her and just felt like if he never was with her, it would be okay as long as she was there next to him.
"No, I totally get what you're saying. Like, I agree with everything you just said."
She nodded and shrugged with a sigh. "I honestly don't think I love anybody, like, at the moment. I don't really think I ever had before either. I know I've liked a few different people, though." She gave a small smile as she thought for a moment. "I kind of like somebody right now...," she shook her head, "but he doesn't like me. At least, I don't know him that well, so I know he doesn't, regardless of what Kris sometimes tells me." She gave a sigh. "Sorry; rant's over."
I shook my head, "Don't apologize." I said. "I get what you mean. Like, I know that Eleanor doesn't feel that way about me at all." I shook my head, "But it doesn't matter for me. I mean, I don't tell her how I feel because it doesn't matter if she doesn't or whatever. I just mean that even if she knew and says no, I just need her to be. Do you know what I mean?"
Anna took a breath in before letting it out and looked at me. "I wish I did." She said genuinely. She leant back and I did the same. We lay in the cold sand next to each other silently and looked at the stars. Looking at the stars in the same spot Eleanor and I had looked at them when the fire pit was alive and crackling. It didn't feel wrong to do so either; to lay next to Anna rather than Eleanor. It felt as if the two of us had just got done telling each other what we actually meant to the world. Our meaning was to find out. What that was, I hadn't a clue, though.