thunder ! lrh

o1

[three years later]

i threw open the doors of the daycare, shouting, "am i late?!" and sighed in relief when the teacher shook her head.

a familiar pair of tiny blue eyes lit up as a crayon dropped to the floor and he ran towards me, outstretched arms and untied shoelaces. "hey matty!" i exclaimed, picking matthew up and putting him on my hip. "how was daycare?"

"it was good! i drew you a picture," matthew grinned wildly, squirming so that i would put him down. once i had done so, he ran over to his table and grabbed the picture, taking it over to him. "it's me and you."

that it was. it depicted me as a giant stringbean of a person with long legs and wearing all black, and matthew as just a tiny version of him. "i love it," i said, my voice thick with pride and fondness for my son. "i'm gonna put this on my wall at work, okay?" matthew nodded ecstatically, and began talking all about how he read a book today and he just loved it. i listened closely as i signed the little boy out and grabbed his spiderman backpack and lunchbox from the shelf, taking matthew's hand as we crossed the parking lot.

"daddy?" said the tiny voice from the back of the car once i was situated in my seat. judging by the tone of his voice, i figured he wanted something because he didn't put up a fuss when i strapped up his car seat. "daddy!"

i glanced at him in the rearview mirror before watching behind me as i backed out of my space, focusing more on not hitting the suv next to us rather than his ranting. "what?"

"can we get a puppy?" he asked and i looked at him in the mirror once again, seeing his nervous little smile, missing teeth and messy cheeks. the kid didn't know how to eat without smearing something on his face. "please, daddy! i'll feed him and take good care of him and everything!"

for a moment, i denied it. "no," i said, wincing when he whined. i hated saying no to him considering he was all i had and the last thing on earth i needed was to be on his bad side, too. "i'm sorry, matty, we just don't have enough money and the apartment is so small-"

"whatever."

i raised my eyebrows, surprised by his sudden sass. that was definitely sassy, and i didn't like it, or the way he crossed his arms and glared at the back of my head. "c'mon, matthew," i said hesitantly, reaching my arm back to shake his little foot. "don't be sad, we'll get a puppy some day. we can get ice cream right now!"

"i don't want ice cream, i want a puppy."

now i was feeling shitty because i just wanted to spoil him and get him every thing he wanted because right now it felt like he was everything i wanted, so i wanted give him the world. we held a heated stare down in the rearview mirror at a red light, him not even twitching to smile like he usually would, and me feeling so guilty that my baby boy was upset with me. and at that moment the idea of money flew away as i huffed and said, "fine."

the car filled with his squeal of joy, and my insides turned knowing i made him happy. it seemed lately he was getting curious as to why all the other kids had mommy's and he didn't, and it was probably bumming him out. so maybe a puppy would take his mind off of it, right? i sighed.

twenty minutes later, we were standing in an animal shelter.

"what kind of puppy do you want?" the lady asked as she lead us back to the room where dogs were in cages.

matthew looked up in thought. "i dunno, a furry one, i guess," he said, and i snorted. he was such a smartass, and he definitely learned that from me. "i want a small puppy that will sleep with me at night and won't bite me!"

i looked at the lady in a pleading way and she nodded, pointing to a kennel with a half dozen or so puppies, no bigger than my foot. "look, matty! do you like any of them?" i asked, and he gasped, nodding his head wildly. he asked the lady if he could hold one and i felt nervous about that, but the puppy licked matthew's nose and it was so cute i could've cried. but we were in public. "how about that one?"