Carrying a heavy burden has never been easy. But sharing it with people has never been easier either. Sometimes you just get stuck in the intersection and cannot decide whether you have to keep it yourself or give it a trust to share with someone. You have no energy anymore to take it for the rest of your life. But you are also afraid that someone whom you share with will give you unexpected responses and make it more complicated. I think we all have been in this situation at least once. And it doesn't look good at all.
I'm not writing this to offer solutions. I myself also struggle with that kind of situation. I am writing this to share the same feeling, same story for someone out there who is looking for validation. I just want them to know that they're not alone. We are all in this together.
For myself, I still have no idea when I will carry this heavy burden. I was thinking of some numbers like 23. I still have no courage and trust to share it with someone. Thinking about their responses is just as scary as thinking about the problem. It doesn't mean that I already give up before I try. I came up with this idea because my experiences have told me so. Sometimes when I share with people, there are two possible responses. One, they can be so judgemental and so you just feel more guilty about yourself. Two, they can be so ignorant that you feel like a piece of trash: nothing of yourself is worth enough to be heard. I have not met the right person yet. Thus, sharing with people is making me scared as hell.
If you have someone to talk to and you trust him/her enough, you better share some of your problems. It's not that easy to carry all alone. But if you don't, you're not alone either. I understand how you are feeling. Just hang in there for a little bit and live your best life as long as you can. Believe that Mother Nature is fair and will hand you a help in the right time you need it the most. I'm also waiting for that. Event though I don't know when it will come, I still believe.
For the few numbers that I am still able to count, I still believe.
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Deep Thoughts
Acak[ ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ ] Some people may feel uncomfortable hearing mean, sarcastic, vulgar, and strong words. However, it still needs a place to be heard. It cannot be taken out arbitrarily. So, here it is: a place for deep thoughts ever felt by h...
