The Unlikeliest of Mates

Chapter 11

Achilles POV:

He could feel his breath quicken from the command. Glancing at Basilio's face then the bottle he takes his own glace, filling it up halfway then walking over to one of the tufted cloth chairs near the fireplace.

"Explain yourself." Basilio demands, taking a drink from his cup, eyes not leaving Achilles' face.

Pushing out a breath, Achilles begins: "I didn't hate you. I don't hate you and I don't want my actions to be interpreted as such. I know what I did was fucked up but it wasn't from a place of hating you or wanting the worst for you or anything like that. It was manipulation." he sighs.

"My family emigrated from South Korea when I was 9. My father was given the position to lead here in Plano after a family member passed away and the pack needed new leadership. My father took the opportunity because there was too much competition on the west coast between Korean packs plus he liked the illusion of seeming meager so he could carry out less agreeable declarations within the pack. He already had planned to ship me to the US sooner or later so I could go to a Ivy League school and then return to take over for him so I guess he was just checking all boxes.

After we moved it wasn't too hard to settle in, I made some friends, played some sports but overall had little issue assimilating. By the time I got to high school things weren't too bad in terms of living. My dad isn't an easy man to get along with but things were not awful either. Until he found out about you. My dad and your dad met at some point during out freshman year and since then basically made me become you. If you did something, I had to do it too. Same sports, same interests, same friend groups. 

Everything. 

He said it was for the betterment of pack relationships that we became as close as possible. Which at first I didn't mind because we were already becoming friends before he said all this so it's not like it was a hardship to be close to you. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with you and our friends and us just all being together. But I guess my father didn't like that I was getting too comfortable with you and not seeing you as a threat to our influence.

By junior year any time word got you that you did something positive, whether it was you giving our team a wining point in a match, helping a random elderly person in a store, or helping with pack related duties, my father would berate me for not doing what you did then force me into punishments as atonement for 'shaming' him. 

Any time I did something he saw as unfit, he used you as the example for how I should have acted or for what I should have done instead. And if I didn't deliver before your next word of praise reached my father, I got punished for it. It got harder and harder to act like it wasn't breaking me down and I didn't want to ruin my friendship with you over him so I tried to endure it. But then senior year came.

He just kept getting worse and worse. He stopped waiting to hear that you did a good thing and instead just started saying anything to get a rise out of me to try and see you as competition and to be combative with you. He wanted me to display strength against you and I didn't want to. So when our tournament came I was already on edge and frustrated. And then we lost and you were the last person to touch the volleyball and I just" he sharply inhales and exhales, trying his best to calm down.

"I just broke. It was misguided and not right of me at all and I don't want it to seem like an excuse. I was just so, so mentally lost and frustrated and the person I was being told to be 'lost' and I couldn't handle it. My father wasn't even angry at what I did." he says letting out a humorless laugh. 

"He just nodded at me like I told him I got a good test score. Just silent approval. He only was upset that I did it so overtly. After that I just got worse mentally. He kept praising the fact that I hurt you when I never wanted to in the first place. It was exhausting and painful. I lost basically everyone after that minus my cousin and a few online friends but I was completely isolated. And rightfully so. But I never meant to hurt you nor wanted to hurt you. I wasn't jealous of you, or mad at you, nor secretly hated you. I was just broken and too hurting to realize I hurt you till it was too late."

Achilles lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and looks down at his cup before taking a drink, bracing for Basilio's response.

"Okay, so what I'm hearing is, your dad is an abuse shithead who manipulated you into having some sort of mental break and I was the intended but unintended target?"

Achilles shrugs, "Basically yes."

"Fuck me. Jesus. I'm sorry that he was putting you through that, and I understand why you wouldn't have talk to me about it because I can't say I would have reacted positively to all of that then but I do understand why you acted like you did. But I don't forgive the situation you put me in as a result. I was in a fucked up space for a while after that and you just fell off the face of the earth so I couldn't even get my own peace with that. 

I had to make up my own peace just to try and move on with my life. And unlike you I did have our friends and a support group which I am thankful for but at the time I still wished that despite everything I still had you by my side. You were my best friend. We could have worked something out. And you just left. Blocked me on everything, lost my number, wouldn't talk to our friends for me to see how you were. That shit fucking hurt."

"I couldn't face you nor face what I did. I know the severity of the damage and I was terrified that you would resent me for the rest of your life so I ran. I kept a low profile, graduated, enrolled at RICE, and tried to live as quietly as possible. I was dealing with some much self loathing and anxiety. I was constantly terrified that you would somehow find me and do what I did ten times worse to me. And I'd honestly let you. Facing you was facing my biggest regret and I couldn't handle it. I still can barely handle it. But that isn't fair to you nor to our situation so I want to try to at least set things straight if I can't get to set things right."

The pressure in the room feels heavy as the weight of the conversation weighs on the both of them. Achilles can feel Basilio's eyes on him as he sighs and takes another sip of his drink.

"Achilles look. Like I said, I am not sure I can easily move past this but I understand what made you get to this point. I want to try to get us back to a better place. You're away from your dad now. Its just us. I want to see if giving us a chance is worth something now. Can you prove to me I'm not making a terrible decision?"

"Yes, I swear you won't regret this. I don't wanna fuck this up, not again, not for anything. And I already plan to try and get some professional help so that I don't let my emotions dictate how I act moving forward. I don't want to hurt you nor anyone else again. I want us to have a relationship again," he says, his eyes almost pleading. Unshed tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. He feels tired. Tired of fighting with himself, tired of fighting with his dad, tired of feeling angry with himself. Tired of being alone.

He feels like this is his saving grace, his once chance to make everything right again, and he's terrified of ruining that chance.

"I'll trust you, just this one time, because I still believe in the man who was once my friend. Just don't disappoint me. I don't think I can handle you ruining me again."

Achilles nods, "I won't, I promise. Thank you for giving me a chance."

"You're welcome."