i am

i am a body. i am a mind. i am a soul.

i am flesh and blood and bone and the rip of my hair out of my skin.

i am calluses on both my hands and scabs on both my wrists.

i am a wraith in a house drenched in opposition, martyred sons and virgin mothers.

i am a mouth that tastes lies like honey, hoping i won't have to feel the bee's sting.

i am numbers on a scale.

i am numbers on a tape measure.

i am carving fat away like play-dough.

i am the acid of hunger, the disgust of over-indulgence.

i am the brown of my eyes, the curve of my lips.

i am the pouch of my stomach.

i am the ribs i feel through my shirt.

i am sickened with desire.

i am a mind. i am a soul. i am a body.

i am anger, quick and all-consuming.

i am too cold, i am too hot.

i am searing, the char of my morals on coal.

i am the chill of absence, frozen in disregard.

i am sadness, a melancholy that feels like eternity.

i am the tears i don't shed, my sneer of a smile.

i am blue and wet, grief with a melted edge.

i am gray and fragmented, the clasp on my woe breaking.

i am joy, the break of sun in the winter, fleeting and warm.

i am the sound of fairies laughing.

i am the bridge across an empty expanse.

i am love, a docile creature that still has claws and fangs.

i am in love.

i am in an illusion.

i am an onlooker.

i am the cup that overflows

i am a soul. i am a body. i am a mind.

i am a rainbow cloaked in monochrome.

i am monochrome cloaked in a rainbow.

i am hollowed out by the petrification of compliance.

i am the familiar cusp of a memory from another time, unknown but always present.

i am my beliefs.

i am the weight of my words.

i am four numbers and two letters and the moon in eclipse.

i am the bull and the ox.

i am broken.

i am unfixable.

i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am- i am-

i am not.