Peter: Nat?
Natasha: What's up Peter?
Peter: Wanda?
Wanda:
Peter: Do you want to have babies?
Wanda: Yes!
Natasha: No!
Wanda: But-
Natasha: You know it's anatomically impossible and kids are stressing as fuck. Besides, why would I want babies when I have the babiest as my girlfriend?
Wanda: Oh Nat *blushes*
Natasha: I am going to kill whoever took my jacket
Wanda: Sorry I took it
Natasha: Oh that's fine, I wouldn't want you getting cold
Steve: And they have the audacity to say they're not in love
Yelena: Hey what do bees make?
Natasha: Honey...
Wanda: Yes, dear?
Natasha: That's my wife alright
Yelena *smiling: Works every time
(not romantic)
Wanda: I wish I had the ability to make boys nervous
Natasha: Holding a knife to their throat usually works for me
Natasha: So what's your type?
Wanda: Kind, redhead, dumb but with a good sense of humour
Natasha: Cool, kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a guy
Wanda: Did I mention dumb?
Natasha: Yeah
Wanda: Just asking
Wanda: Natasha muttering in Russian when she's upset is one thing
Clint: What's another?
Wanda: But today she yelled at me in Spanish and I'm afraid the whole Spanish Inquisition is happening all over again.
Steve: So what's it like dating Natasha?
Wanda: Once, I asked Nat to bring me some water while she was pissed at me. She brought me a glass full of ice and told me to 'wait'
Wanda: I don't date women
Natasha: *walks in*
Wanda: I marry them
Wanda: Due to personal reasons I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box
Clint: Natasha said 'I love you' and you said 'thanks' didn't you?
Wanda: ...The reasons are personal
Wanda: THREE MONTHS!
Steve: What's going on?
Natasha: It's not a big deal
Wanda: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR THREE MONTHS!
Bucky: Nobody's perfect
Wanda: Since when are we calling Natasha nobody?
Natasha: I don't like it
Wanda: You don't like anything
Natasha: I like sleep and you
(Endgame scene)
Natasha: Let me go
Wanda: I can't
Natasha: What are you doing?
Wanda: *standing on a chair* I live in this tower too you know. I can stand wherever I want thank you very much.
Natasha:
Natasha: Where's the spider?
Wanda: It's under the table. Please get it for me, please.
Wanda: Nat, I did something terrible
Natasha: It's okay, I have a shovel
Wanda: Wait, what? What do you think I did?
Natasha: It doesn't matter, no one will know
YOU ARE READING
Multifandom Oneshots and More
FanfictionRandom one-shots from Riordanverse, Marvel, Riverdale, and maybe a few others. I take requests so leave them in the comments. If I haven't watched or read what the request has come from I may not do it. I do not own the characters. Current: Riordanv...
