☽ ▬▬ 'di ko kayang numingning kung wala ka, malungkot ang gabing malamig kung wala ang iyong init; wala nang kulay ang paligid; wala nang buhay ang daigdig kung wala ka sa'king tabi ▪ i can't shine without you. the cold nights turn sad without your warmth, and my surroundings have no color and the world has no life when you're not by my side
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Runa pictured her and Maria meeting in front of the store. Their mouths opened, but their words were inaudible. Their expressions changed, and then Maria took Runa's hand, but Runa pulled away and their faces were suddenly so close together, so close—
She made a sound between a huff and a growl as she threw Bailey's front door keys on his bed. There was a weird feeling in her chest, like a mix of random ingredients put together. They formed a thin substance so it was easy to mix, but it was hard to get rid of.
And then there was that other problem—there were so many ingredients she didn't know what she was feeling at all. It was like their subconscious was pressuring them to be excited for Maria's return.
Were they...scared for her to come back?
Absolutely not, she told herself. When she comes home I'll show her everything she missed and she'll love it, I'll make Maria happy. All the places we'll go to and everything we'll do will make her eyes light up.
But would they? What if she didn't?
Footsteps were heard as Bailey walked up and down the hallways. "V? Runa, I gave you the keys, but now I have to put them back, where are you?"
"Oh shit, hold on..." Bailey's voice became clear, then it faded. Finally it went back to normal as he returned to his friend, holding tissues in one hand. He sat beside Runa, hesitantly putting an arm around her. He had noticed her tears before she even did.
When Runa tried to speak, their throat felt like acid was bubbling up their neck. Their head started to hurt from the effort of holding back tears. "I shouldn't—I have to...have to be happy for when she comes home, so we can—we can..." Her voice broke as she began to cry.
"You do remember that she can do well without you, right?" Bailey flinched, realizing how he had worded his sentence.
"I know, but what if she comes back and I'm not the same—"
He spoke hesitantly this time. "You...should know that you don't always have to rely on her happiness. If she was really your friend, she wouldn't try to change you."
That wasn't the response Runa was looking for, and her mind was clouded with that weird feeling again. A mix of hesitation, and anger.
She inhaled sharply and squeezed angry, hot tears out of her eyes. "She is my friend!"
"V, I didn't say she was—"
Runa was already putting on her shoes.
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That night, Bailey lay in bed, smiling to himself. He had been flipping through old yearbooks, seeing how much him and his classmates had changed.
He had been grounded by his mom when she came home. The laundry baskets were still full and the chicken was still frozen. Oops.
By the end of the day, he was tired and his muscles ached from making up for missing his chores. He had taken a shower to try and bring him to sleep quickly, but that didn't work. While waiting for his hair to dry, he lay on his stomach and pulled a transparent envelope out from under his bed.
"Ew."
He really had to do some dusting under there sometime.
Now his smile faded. The image of Runa storming off of his porch popped back into his mind and suddenly he wasn't sleepy anymore.
He only meant to do well for them. They were his best friend, after all. He could see how they zoned out and how they always had a strange look on their face when Maria was mentioned.
"Man..." He turned to lie on his side. This was going to be messy.
That's okay. I can deal with messy.
Little did he know that the said best friend's knuckles were turning white from how hard she was gripping her blanket. Runa had gone to all the older members of her family, but they were all either too busy or Runa backed out. She was mad at them for that.
She wished she could forget what Bailey said. Or maybe a little part of her wished she could believe it.
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