ALWAYS || RAFE CAMERON

39

Rafe was sat at Ward's desk, using a knife to sort coke into precise lines on the desk.

i looked through his cabinet for alcohol.

"you can't drink." Rafe told me without looking up.

"why the fuck not?"

"you're pregnant, remember?"

"i wanna fucking get rid of it."

"what? why?!" Rafe abandoned his lines.

"i can't drink, it's making me fucking hormonal, and i'm moody all the time!"

"just think how happy you'll be when it pops out!"

"happy that my vagina is ripped to shreds and my belly goes saggy? no thank you. you'd have to buy me the world twice over to make me happy."

Rafe laughed and sniffed a line.

"i think you should quit drink and drugs while i'm pregnant. drugs full stop."

"explain?"

"i can't have anything, so you should be a good supportive boyfriend and do the same!"

"you're the one that's knocked up!"

"you're the one that got me like this!" i gestured to my stomach.

"i'll think about it." he sniffed another line.

"no you won't."

Rose entered the room without knocking.

her eyes went straight to the coke, then to Rafe, then to me.

"what are you doing?" she asked her step-son.

"what does it look like?" he waved his hands over the lines.

she stalked towards him and grabbed the little clear bag off the desk.

"give that here." Rafe was immediately on his feet.

"no." Rose backed away.

Rafe grabbed the knife off the desk and pointed it at Rose's throat.

she backed away further, and he followed.

"Rafe," i warned.

"what are you going to do, Rafe?" Rose asked defiantly. "are you gonna hurt me?" 

Rafe's hand shook slightly as he put the blade against Rose's throat.

"go on then, do it." she stared him down.

he shifted his feet slightly.

"Ra-"

"shut up, Juno!" he turned to me.

the second his eyes were off her, Rose snatched the knife out of his hand.

"you've always been weak." she snapped.

Rafe looked back at the remnants of coke on the desk, then at me.

i stared at him, shaking slightly.

he caught my eye, and his gaze softened as he took a step towards me.

i stepped back, the wall touching my back.

he looked at me for a long time, and his gaze quickly turned stony.

"get out." Rose told him.

Rafe stormed out, slamming the door so hard that a picture fell off the wall.

i didn't dare move, or say anything.

"i'll go after him." Rose put a hand on my arm, making me jump.

i nodded and let her leave the room.

i could hear their muffled voices in another room.

Rose seemed to be trying to calm him down, and a second after i heard my name, Rafe yelled.

"fuck!"

and a huge crash sounded.

that snapped me out of my thoughts, and i followed the sounds to the dining room, afraid that he'd hurt Rose.

when i got there, the first thing i saw was a giant hole in the wall.

i looked to Rafe.

his hand was bleeding heavily.

i put two and two together, and realised he'd punched through the plaster.

his head snapped up at the sound of my arrival, and he stalked towards me, grabbing my arm with his bloody one and dragging me behind him.

"let me go!" i yelled.

he ignored me, taking me upstairs and into an attic room.

"Rafe!" i used my free hand to hit his chest. "you're hurting me!"

he immediately let go, examining the red and white splotches he left on my arm.

"shit." he sighed. "sorry, Ju."

i shook my head, moving back.

"don't-" he took a steadying breath.

i frowned, resuming my initial intention and sitting on a table with a dust sheet on it.

"don't what?" i frowned.

"you were... you were scared of me."

"no i wasn't." i lied.

"yes you were, for a second."

i stared sadly up at him and shrugged.

he bit his lip, looked down, then nodded slowly.

"so... what d'you wanna do?" he asked quietly.

"what do you mean?"

"do you wanna like... take a break?"

"what?! fuck no! why would you think that?!"

"i don't fucking know!" he yelled, but his tone quickly changed. "it's like don't know anything anymore." he told me dejectedly.

"it's ok..." i walked tentatively towards him.

i held my hand out slowly, and he put his head into it.

"forgive me?" he whispered, putting his hand over mine.

"always," i gave him a small smile. "love you."

"i know."

i shouldn't have let it get to me, but couldn't help but remember Rafe had said the same thing yesterday.

he hadn't said he loved me since last night.