Reality's Insanity

Determination

Hey! So sorry for waiting so long to continue my story! Thank you for those who still support me and waited too long. I am sorry to ask more from you guys, but I would really appreciate it if you stop by and leave a comment! And important question: is it time for me to bring in Levi's point of view? Well let me know, I want to get to know my readers! Hope you enjoy, Reminder: I do not own Attack on Titan.
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Cristine's POV*

The rowdy bar grew silent as the atmosphere became dangerous. When I realized I wasn't in as much pain as I should be, I opened my eyes to find the beautiful eyes that belonged to the one and only Jean about one centimeter from my own. Not only were we so close that I felt his pale hair touch my forehead, and his lips were pressed onto mine. At first I was caught off guard feeling my face burn up (it was my first kiss) and wanted to kiss back, but reality struck me hard. Anger began to bubble through my veins. He merely fell, an accident (caused by Hanji who I will personally deal with later). What does it matter if we kiss he never showed any interest in me, it been five months of silence! I still live in his small apartment for Christ's sake! I mentally slapped myself and pushed Jean off me putting on an emotionless mask while I glaring at him merciless.

I am furious with him, but what do I feel so guilty. Why do his eyes seem to be so sad? Snap out of it, I'm his superior! I stood up and controlled the urge to kill Hanji where she stood smirking and professionally dragged her drunk ass out of the bar. An eruption of yelling and the sound of glass breaking emerged the second I left to Jea- my apartment. I sighed knowing it wasn't his fault rather the older woman I was dragging, but his disappearance to this day leave's me wondering what I did wrong. I shook my head and readjusted the sleeping woman to lean against me in a piggy back formation. I swear if this incident ruins my reputation she will pay. Amongst the dimly lit streets and empty cobblestone roads I weaved through alleyways and turned to the building where Jean and I stayed almost six months before. It seems like a lifetime ago. I opened the door to the one bedroom apartment and dumped Hanji onto the bed. She snored as she hugged my pillow drooling. The things I do for that woman, my train of thought suddenly moved to Levi who would say the same thing. If Levi were in my situation there would probably be casualties. I sighed at my amazing luck and walked out to the small balcony looking at the full mon and starry night. No matter how long I have been here I still am struck speechless when I see the animated night sky. So pretty, prettier than the polluted real one.

I found myself softly singing. I gradually closed my eyes as I pulled myself to the lyrics reflecting on what happened these past few months. After surviving my first training session that consisted of running for seven straight hours and two hours of embarrassing sparring I nearly died, but not once did Levi go easy on me and as time passed I could run miles before breaking a sweat and hold an entire sparring battle with him. My Japanese also gradually improved making it easier to understand his hostile remarks to fix my footing or creative insults. Nonetheless we grew closer (at least I think we did).

I remember the first time seeing him smile, it was when I finally perfected his spinning free fall of death while holding the blades downwards slicing the perfect amount from the neck of the wooden titan. It was small and lasted a second because after I tripped on a stick while running to hug him leading up to an evil laugh and an endless lecture on being more aware of my surroundings, and personal space. It still made me happy. He was refreshing to be around even if he didn't speak that much, due to the fact he never questioned my past and focused solely on the task of making me strong enough to survive. The exhausting training was followed by hours of questioning and instruction by a combination of Erwin and Hanji, and the occasional Armin. I learned to read and write and would describe the world I came from and the cultural differences. They nearly fainted when I described the outside world and could clearly explain each an every detail of their lives. I decided to keep the entire anime/manga concept under wraps. Imagine being told your entire existence is a work of fiction and all the people dying is to build suspense, these people already have too much to deal with. So I would stall by showing them a complicated math equation or burst out singing a song by Katy Perry (that usually shut them up). It constantly gets harder to keep the truth hidden every time I visit, but it's necessary to continue their purpose in life. Would they keep on killing Titans if I told them that their fate was fixed by a mangaka? There was no way I would let that happen, and for them to know of my pathetic past life would be a horrible mistake. It is all behind me now, the past is dead. I also changed my name to represent my dangerous new life, I always did like the name Cristine.