XXPLOSIVE

All For Us

26th December, 2000

My neck is as twisted as a pretzel right now. Where the fuck am I? Yes Chloe, feel around. Water. I’m in the tub. Where’s Kim? Where’s Marshall?

I step out of the bathtub with both my legs feeling like they were made of lead. I walk outside to see Kim sleeping across the bed with her clothes undone. Marshall was nowhere to be seen.

My head is POUNDING. A stupid driver kept honking outside for some reason and I can’t take it. I dunk my head into a pillow next to Kim and try to block out the noise. That didn’t happen.

“Oh shut up!” I yell into my pillow.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kim stirs and opens her eyes. In the broad sunlight, the light pierced the blue in her eyes, making them look even more beautiful than usual.

“My head’s fucked up too, we ate and drank way too much yesterday. Come here,” she holds my hand lazily and strokes my skin with her fingernail.

Ate too much?! What if she thinks I’m a hog? And Marshall thinks I’m lying about having ana? Fuck fuck, this is why I shouldn’t drink.

Kim pulled me closer and put a hand over my stomach. Why am I getting so nervous about this today? I’ve been feeling so good for a couple weeks now. Maybe I should tell Kim about it. Should I?

I turn to her side and she blows some air in my face, which makes me laugh. “What’s up, girlfriend?” Cheesy, but I like it, weirdly.

“I have to tell you something,” I say as I suck some air in. She cocks her eyebrows softly in response.

“I...I’m,”

“Yeah?”

“I’m anorexic Kim. I’ve been diagnosed since I was 14, and there have been ups and downs since then. But trust me, I’ve been doing good for a long time now. You and Marshall have helped, and I cannot thank-"

“Chloe, shh shh shh. You don’t have to explain it immediately. Let it just hang there for a bit, it’s a hard thing to process early in the morning.” Her face tenses up slightly as she sits up and closes her eyes for a bit. I stay right where I am, waiting for her to respond.

“What helps you to feel better when you particularly feel you’re getting bad?” she asks softly.

“Couple of things work; drawing or doing work, listening to music or doing something very technical like doing my taxes or bank stuff. Any distraction which doesn’t let me feel much.”

Except when Marshall or Kim talked some sense in me. That was the only emotionally stimulating thing which made me feel less shit. I don’t know what exactly they spoke, but I’m sure its about how they said it, than the material. I knew they meant every word of what they said.

“Well, let's try to talk about it the next time you feel shit okay? I know I may not really understand what you feel, but I’ll always be there to listen to you. You understand?” She kisses my nose and then gently kisses my lips.

“Also, if you’re worried about my previous comment, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you something more: you’re a fucking gem of a girlfriend too, did you know? Plus, I’ve got plans for us all to burn calories,” Kim winked at me mischievously, making me immediately forget about last night or me feeling shit.

“Speaking of, where’s Marshall?” I shrug in response, when we hear loud giggles from the hall. Ah, he’s such a fucking good father, I literally can’t. And Hailie and Lainie were such good kids. Yeah, I feel like Dawn just doesn’t deserve toe called as Lainie’s mother. Kim looks after her like her own almost everyday anyways.

“Ah shit, it’s almost 10, that’s why. They were supposed to be up by 9 for that-"

“Its fine boo, we all slept in, it’s cool.”

“I’m just a hot mess mom honestly,” Kim says as she tries to laugh it off.

“I mean you are a hot mess, but you’re also a fucking badass. You’ve raised both of them so well, and it shows. You’re my kind of hot mess,” I kiss her and I slide my hand under her shirt. Maybe it’s too early, but I’m really horny and hungry now.

She responds with a slight hiss as I twirl my nails around her nipples and then pulls away. I look at her doubtfully for a minute and soon after, we are ambushed by the girls. Good reflexes she’s got. After ample cuddles from their mom, the two rose up and decided to make their own cereal for breakfast and resume their yesterday's game of tag in their room. Marshall leads them outside gracefully and comes to the door frame of the room with a small look alike of him.

“What’s up Nate? Couldn’t meet you properly last night,” Kim asks cheerily.

“I went to my girlfriend’s house, uh she had a thing so I helped her overnight-"

“Don’t worry bro, I saw the condoms from my drawer missing. Glad you were safe. Hope your girlfriend ain’t allergic to berries."

Nate starts to get pink. “Shut up yo! It wasn't-We didn’t really-" Both Kim and Marshall start to laugh.

I turn to him and signal fucking with my fingers. He turns even more pink and I decide to change the topic immediately, you know, to cut him some slack.

“Hi Nate, I’m Chloe, I’m a-” Both of them look at me knowingly.

“- mutual friend of them both.” Not now.

“Cool, I'm Nate, Marshall's brother. You seem nice. I like your top.” I laugh at his odd comment. He looks literally like Marshall bit yet different.

“Woah there now bruh,” Marshall slaps the back of his head.

“Yo, I’m just saying! My girl’s always talking about fashion and it’s very interesting. The cut of the top is really nice,” he says as he observes it, but in a really non creepy way.

“In return, I make my girlfriend play video games with me, which she loves but always hates losing against me, haha. But she’s amazing, yeah.” he laughs shyly and shakes his head.

“You’re so whipped for that girl, aren’t ya? I’ll tell you what you should do-”

“Marshall! He’s being all cute and shit for once! Don’t make him scare his first girlfriend with your ideas,” Kim fake chides him and we all laugh. Nate gets pissed as Marshall and Kim continues to tease him and decided to go out for breakfast.

“Get us something too! Y’all okay with pancakes?”

“Fuck pancakes, is that the only breakfast we can have? I’ll make something better, wait-" I jumped out of bed.

“Not getting y’all shit, piss off! Except you Chloe!” Nate yells as he shuts the door after wearing his coat.

I ended up making us all smoothies because that was the only energy I had while dealing with that horrible hangover. It’s a miracle none of us puked that day, but that was probably because we all just cuddled and did nothing important per say.

“Nate’s going home and taking Hai and Lainey to Kim’s house, their grandmother wants to meet them because we didn’t let her come over yesterday,” Marshall explained to me in the afternoon when Nate returned. Kim was out like a light and we both got up at the around of the bell.

“Hey, your mom wasn’t there either?” I asked as we roamed around the house aimlessly.
He gave me a tilted his head and gave me a side eye. Ah, yes.

“Ah, I see. No grandparents at public events policy, I see."

“Not really an option. Unfortunately, both of them are cu-" he stopped himself.