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emotional instability

I don't know what's wrong with me
I want to cry
But the tears won't come
I don't know what they're waiting for
I've given them invitation after invitation
And they still just
Refuse to appear
No
I take that back
They appear
But not enough to make any difference
Not enough to loosen the tightening
In the center of my chest
The place where I guess my soul resides
Right between my shoulder blades
Right underneath the knot in my throat
Right above where my breath shakes
As it's forced in and out and in
And I just want to cry
Feel release
I'm not even sure why
I don't know what's wrong with me