When You Smile

Emotions and The Past

"So..." Jake continued with a sad smile.

"When I was small, there was this cute girl of my age that lived across me. Her name was Rysaa. She was very sweet and loves to talk. We use to play together in the evening and she use to tell me stories and always try to act mature than her age..." Jake said smiling at the memory.

I know I should feel jealous that the guy I like is smiling at the memory of another girl but I didn't felt even 1% jealous because it was a beautiful memory for him and he was smiling making me smile too.

" We use to go to school together, we used to play together, study together basically we used to spend all our time together. I was only 10 years old but I knew that she was special to me because whenever she gets sad, I used to get anxious and spend my whole time making her smile and whenever I used to get sad, she also used to do the same. Telling me a funny story, giving me her candies just to make me happy. She was my best friend", Jake said then looked at me with a sad smile.

I put my hand in his hair and twirled it around, Jake felt relaxed because he put her head on my shoulder and continued,"

"She was always ill since she was a little child and when we were 14 years old, she got diagnosed with Leukemia. I was sad that day, I cried the whole day. I cried hugging her. But you know she wasn't even scared. She said to me," Jake, Don't worry. You know if I get correct medical treatment, I can be cured soon, and then we will go to the World's biggest Amusement park."

Jake was telling me about his past and his voice was shaking, I turned his face towards me and there were tears in his eyes and his eyes were red. I felt really bad and I got tears in my eyes too.

" I used to come from school and go directly to her house so that she won't feel alone. I told myself that I will tell her that I love her. One day, when I came home from school and was about to go to his house, my mom told me that she suddenly fainted and is right now admitted. I was shocked because she was showing improvement and she only got discharged from the hospital not long ago. I went to the hospital with my mom and there she was still trying to smile at me. She looked so weak, I knew her as one of the strongest people ever, she was very courageous. I started crying and she also started crying. I only got 30 minutes to spend with her. I wanted to tell her that I love her but I couldn't. I kissed her forehead and said I will wait for you at home, Come soon. She nodded with tears in her eyes. We both knew but didn't said anything.

The next day, When I got home from school, my mom and dad were crying. I knew and the pain I felt at that moment was so intense.,"

Jake was crying and the pain his eyes showed made me cry.

"So you never got to tell her that you love her?," I asked wiping tears.

"No, and I don't regret not telling her because I know love is a very amazing feeling but friendship is more beautiful and pure. She was, is, and will always be my best friend and that feeling can never be changed no matter if she is here with me or not. Sometimes feeling in love and the passion in love could get less from time but in true friendship, it never happens."

I hugged Jake and kissed his cheeks, I like how he is so emotional and pure. Not everyone is like this.

"I told you this because I don't want to keep any secrets between us and you are very special to me. If you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me.,"

"Why would I feel uncomfortable? I am very proud of you. I am very proud that you kept her in your heart even after so many years and I don't want to replace her. I will never but I will make place for myself too in your heart." I said smiling.

"You already do."

"What ?"

"You already have a special place in my heart and I really like you." He said smiling and a little bit blushing too.

" I like you too.' I also said blushing.

"Thank you for listening and being with me here. Thank you for believing in me and giving me a chance to be with you."

Instead of replying, I kissed his cheeks and we both sat there looking at stars, holding hands and his head on my shoulder.

It's a really beautiful feeling.