Deception (N.H)

CHAPTER 38: NUMB

"You okay?" I ask Liam as his sobs come to a stop. "No." He mumbles, hugging me tighter. "You didn't deserve any of that. SHE didn't deserve any of it." I whisper as I try my best to hold back more tears. "It's all my fault, Bells. I- I killed her." His voice was quiet and broken. "No Liam, it isn't. Please don't blame yourself." He shakes his head and holds my shirt in his fist.

"Yes it is. She just wanted love and a family and then I ruined everything. I always ruin everything." Liam says, screaming into my shirt and I squeeze my eyes shut. "You made a dumb mistake but her death is not your fault. Don't ever blame yourself. You weren't the one doing things to her." I say as I rub circles on his back. "I am the reason those things happened though." He mumbles and I sigh, pulling away.

"You don't get to sit here and feel sorry for yourself or blame yourself for anything. You need to figure out a way to move on. I'm sorry Liam, but that's the truth. Just because she isn't physically here, doesn't mean she isn't with you. I promise you that you did not kill her. People do bad things. We just have to figure out a way to survive long enough." I wipe his face and run a hand through his hair.

"What if I can't survive any longer?" He whispers and I look at him in confusion. "All you need is a reason to keep fighting." I say and he shakes his head. "Bells-" He whispers and I freeze, looking him in the eye. "-I'm sick."

---

"Bunny!" Niall yells as I walk into his room. "Panny!" I yell back and laugh as he pulls me down to hug him. "How was the bonding?" He asks as I lay my head on his chest. "Different than I expected." I mumble and blink away my tears.

"Can we go for a drive?" I ask him and he looks at me, slowly nodding. "Come on." He says as we get up. "I want McDonald's and a crepe." I mumble as we walk towards the lift. "That can be arranged m'lady." Niall smirks and I laugh, shaking my head.

I grab my phone and start looking for Crepe shops. "I change my mind. I just want crepes." I say as I look through the pictures on the website. "No dinner?" He asks and I shake my head. "Crepes." I say and he sighs, holding his hands up in defense. "Fine, we'll get crepes." He says and I grin, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the car.

As usual, I put on my seatbelt and look at Niall, who sighs and puts his on. "You act like a mother." He mumbles and I shrug, grabbing his hand. "Sorry that I care about you being alive." I whisper as I look out the window.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bunny." He says, squeezing my hands and I nod. "Directions please." He says and I pull out my phone. "Susan can be a bit of a pain sometimes." I say as I place my phone on the holder as the directions start showing. "Who?" Niall asks as he looks at me in confusion. "The directions voice thing." I say, pointing to my phone. "You are something else." Niall mumbles with a smile and I grin. "I know."

We fall into a comfortable silence. Niall, driving while his hand rests on my thigh. Me, looking out the window trying not to cry.

There's no cure...

Before I can fall any deeper into my world of thoughts, Niall squeezes my thigh. "We're here." He smirks and I smile as we get out. "Crepe crepe I love me crepes." I sing as Niall hands me a fresh hot chocolate crepe. I take a bite and moan at the goodness. "Fuck that's so good." I say as I lick off all the chocolate from my fingers.

Niall smiles at me as he takes a bite of his own crepe. We sit in silence, besides the low buzzing from the radio, and devour our crepes. Niall finishes his within a few minutes. As I'm about to take the last bite of mine, I turn to Niall. "Please can you get me another one? Then we can go wherever you want." I look at Niall with my best puppy eyes and he sighs.