Breaking The Ice [bxb]

Chapter Thirty (pt. 2) [Eli]

As more and more people keep flowing in, the recreational center starts to heat up.

My friends, cheeks flushed pink and eyes glimmering with laughter, don't seem bothered by the stuffy air, but I need to step outside for some air. I say this to Dean before disappearing and he just nods with a smile.

I leave my coat on the racks by the door and step out into the cool start of summer's night air in just my t-shirt.

She turns around when she hears the door open and we both freeze in place, staring at each other for a second, caught off guard.

"Didn't realize someone was out here already."

Natalie shrugs her shoulders, looking around at the buldings surrounding us. "Public street," she says.

"Not really. Guests and staff only," I mumble.

Nat nods, pursing her lips as she glances down at her feet. "I can go back in."

"No, it's fine. I can leave."

"You don't have to—"

"No, it's fine—"

"Eli," she interrupts me. "Seriously. I was about to head back inside anyway."

I nod. She walks past me and I step aside to let her get to the door. But, before she can enter—

"Nat."

She turns around.

"I, uh... I never really talked to you after... You know, after..."

She smiles softly. "Yeah, I do know. It's fine."

"I don't think it is." I shake my head.

She bites down on her lip, a small crease forming between her eyebrows as she looks at me, hands in her pockets. She's expecting me to say something.

"I just..." I trail off, scratching the back of my head over the beanie. As usual, struggling to find the words.

Nat and I dated for a full year. She asked me out after we were put in the same health class. I took her to the grill diner on the roadside between Brunson and Lake City, which was the only place in my budget, and after we had an honest good time eating together she made a casual deal of splitting the bill.

We spent a lot of time skating together at the rink and on the lake. She met my friends and they got along great, even though I never really met hers. I crossed paths with them, as people were bound to do in small towns, but her friends were always on another league, too caught up in their Lake City life. But Nat had a more grounded nature to her.

She was smart, and kind, and I really enjoyed spending time with her. I got no butterflies in my stomach when we kissed, and losing my virginity to her wasn't a world-rocking experience. But the thrill of being the object of someone's attraction, and being touched, and having someone care about me was all still there. I also cared about her, in a non-romantic way that made it so much easier to just hide in the comfortable protection she provided.

I was never much of a wordsmith, or a great feelings communicator, but there was a time when social situations were my thing. I just had a way with people. I liked making others laugh. So I repaid Nat's affection in my own way.

What we had wasn't my first love story, but it was still something that really mattered to me. More than the way she was always around in the beginning, I appreciated the way she gave me space after my parents died. When I didn't talk to anyone during the summer I spent with my first foster family, Nat would only occasionally text to say she hoped I was doing better and reassure me she was only a call away.