Breaking The Ice [bxb]

Chapter Twenty-Nine [Liam]

It's been well over a month since Eli and I last talked.

There's less than three weeks to go until the final day of senior year. The lake has thawed, the snow has melted and the beginning of May brings a whisper of warmth into the spring air.

Mack texted me. She wanted to go out and enjoy the sunny Saturday afternoon by the lake, which is less crowded now that you can't skate on it. Chloe has a date with James, so we canceled our practices today, freeing my day to make other plans. But I declined Mack's invitation.

Whatever her thing with Dean Miller was, I think it's over now. Her eternal backup hook-up, Trey Coleman, also seems to have a new fling, so Mack is currently completely single and unattatched. Happily, she says. She probably means it. A small part of me can't help wondering what went on on Dean's side of that relationship, though. 

I was so focused on Eli and my own personal drama all year long that everything happening in my friends' lives sort of fell to the background. 

I just heard Nat made a choice between the five schools that accepted her. I don't think I even remember hearing about her receiving these acceptance letters. And Gus. Just heard he had to change skating coaches. Apparently it happened a couple of months back.

It's somewhat of an ego check. While I've been busy being the main character of my own life, the world kept moving and other people were living.

Even without practice, I still wanted to get some hours in the rink. Spending so much of my time avoiding Eli this year means I didn't spend nowhere near as much hours on the ice as I used to. I want to make it up.

Eli kept his distance from me since our conversation, and this time I was okay with giving him space. Despite whatever misconceptions we both had going into our little fling, that last night in my room over The Lodge, when Eli broke down in front of me, was enough to make me realize that boy has a lot to figure out. And I can't help him with it. I would probably just get in the way.

We are in very different places. Mentally, emotionally and in every other possible way. Whatever we've been doing so far would most likely not do either of us any good. Especially with graduation - and the inevitable separation that follows - looming ever closer and closer.

It's a pleasant surprise to see him at the Ice Arenas and find I don't feel an urge to bolt. He sees me too, I think, but doesn't show any indication of preparing to run either. He doesn't approach either. We just stay on our respective rinks, focusing on our respective sports. As we once might have done, in what feels like a whole other life.

The hours tick by, sweat dampens my hair and people start to flush out gradually. Not us, though.

When the final figure skater finally steps out of the ice, I'm surprised to see Eli leave the hockey rink and walk on skates toward my rink. 

I used to be the one to go into his rink, inviting myself into his space. Having him come to me... It's a change. Too small to read much into it, though. And that's what I need to tell myself and force my own brain to believe it

He skims languidly in my direction. "Hey."

"Hey," I reply, skating a circle around him before taking off ahead. He follows at a comfortable, lazy pace.

"How are you feeling?" I ask.

Six months ago, I'd never have asked that. It's too personal, too intrusive, too risky. He would close up and pull back, and my priorities were on making sure we got to the good part first. But we're not doing that today.

"Okay," he speaks slowly. "Better," he adds more surely.

"That's good."

"I started therapy."