new friend || kaeya angst

two - tavern

night had finally fallen, covering the city in a blanket of darkness with specks of white hanging above, twinkling in no particular pattern. many of mondstadt's residents had tucked in for the night, sleeping away their troubles and praying for a peaceful day to come with the morning.
others, however, began to crowd into a small building near the edge of the city- angel's share.
kaeya was one of those people, which wasn't an uncommon sight so no one commented on it. he was often seen drinking until he couldn't stand on his own with the city's bard and a sister of the church.
so far, everything went as usual- master diluc scowled every time kaeya spoke, which as usual, stung a little but enough to ignore. the same people sat at the tables in the corners, playing cards or betting on who the strongest fighter in mondstadt was. many said it would be of course the 'darknight hero', but others still debated it was klee with her bombs that could be specialized for anything.
the lights were a pleasantly dim yellow, softly illuminating the tavern and sending things into a gentle haze. it was easy to lose yourself in the pleasure of liquid courage with such an environment. it was like the soft lights made a silent promise to sinners and saints alike- in the tavern, there were no secrets. what happens in angel's share stays in angel's share.
kaeya took advantage of this illusion of a promise between his own body and the tavern's, drinking as many orders of death after noon as master diluc would allow him to without yelling about him being an inefficient knight and not really being the cavalry captain of anything.
to his left, the anemo archon lay with his hand against the bar's counter top, eyes closed lazily as he mumbled slurred versions of the songs he'd perform over and over again in front of his statue in the day time. the mediterranean blue of his braids glowed in ecstasy, a sure sign that the bard was long gone and in his own fantasy.
to the cavalry captain's right, the non-religious sister of the church sat with a beer in her right hand, twirling her signature kunai knife in her left. kaeya watched her dull violet eyes glint with the shine of the blade, no doubt thoughts of slashing something passing through her mind idly. rosaria stopped messing with her knife only to take a swig of the beer and go straight back to balancing and spinning the weapon she seemed to treasure so much.
and in front of him, kaeya noted, was a very irritated mop of regal red hair tied back in a sad attempt at a ponytail. perhaps master diluc would let kaeya fix it for him without yelling too much?
yeah, right.
kaeya also saw the glint in master diluc's red eyes, one he recognized all too well as being the 'get-out-of-my-tavern-before-i-kick-your-ass-all-the-way-to-liyue' look he got more than he'd like to admit.
hm, was it just the alcohol in kaeya's system, or did master diluc look a lot more irritated than usual? concern shot like a bow through his heart, and he almost resisted the urge to ask about it.
oh well- not like anything could make his relationship with diluc worse than it already was.
"so, what's with you this evening, master diluc?" kaeya asked, going to lift venti under his arms as he spoke, not missing the soft growl of frustration his ex-brother let out.
"that is none of your business, 'cavalry captain kaeya'" master diluc mocked, snatching rosaria's drink as he did so, ignoring the glare she threw his way. "we're closing now- get out before i make you".
kaeya grinned, "well, you're technically already making us leave, no?" he said in a lighthearted tone, hoisting venti's body onto his back with the archon's arms wrapped light around the top of his shoulders and his legs around kaeya's waist, held in place by his strong yet soft and gentle hands. it was a trait he was thankful for- it made him seem all the more non-threatening when he needed to get information out of someone.
master diluc scowled hard, and if kaeya was in the mood to provoke him any further he would have laughed at master diluc's face. he was, and he did.
and what a mistake that had been.
"don't frown so much, master diluc- you'll get wrinkles far before your father did~".
a second goes by. kaeya watches as his ex-brother's expression goes dark.
"you would do well to at least remember what *your* parents look like rather than mine, cavalry captain".

another second goes by, and kaeya can't help but feel the pressure building in his chest. and he turns to leave the tavern, a neutral expression plastered on his face but all he can think of is the racing of his heart. the cold sweat building on his face. what was this feeling? it felt like he was spiraling. falling in an endless pit of everything he'd ever thought, said, or did and wished he could take it all back. wishing he had never spoken at all. a woman with skin like his held his hand. his very small hand. why was his hand so small? was he a child again, held in the comfort of his loving mother's hold? except when he looked up, expecting to see the soft gaze of adoration a mother held for her child, there was nothing. the woman had no face- no defining features.
he wanted to cry.
kaeya looked to his right, a firm, strong hold on his hand almost grounding him, as if this moment was actually happening in real time. he looked to see a man with skin darker than his, and like his wife, no defining features.
"where are we going?" kaeya heard himself ask.
"you are going to a wonderful place, kae. where the grass is alive and dancing, and the sky stretches for eternity- all sorts of colors that spread in its vastness to fill your heart with the wonders of this life" his mother replied, and little kaeya did not notice the strain in her voice as she held back tears.

"you are our last hope" his father muttered, in a soft voice he barely heard over the sound of his own heart.
kaeya cried out as his father let go of his hand and walked back from where they came, but made no move to follow him. perhaps father needed to get something? he'd be back, right? yes of course! kaeya would wait here like a good son.
but...the woods were scary. it was dark and the howl of the wolves resonated with his soul and oh was he scared now.
"father, wait! don't go!" he screamed, watching the muscles of his father's shoulders shift as he walked away, posture straight and not looking back.
the rain began to fall hard, the grays of the clouds and skies masking his cries for forgiveness and salvation as the child apologized over and over for anything he had done wrong. if he apologized enough, father would have to take him home, right? RIGHT??
he cried out for what felt like forever, and it was. he cried when he was left. when crepus found him and look him to a new home. when diluc declared them as brothers. when his family fell apart. when he was held at the end of a blade with no mercy shining in his brother's cold eyes. when he made it back to the city and jean tended his wounds. when diluc returned after years away from home.
and even now, carrying a drunk bard and a sister of the church out of master diluc's tavern, both he and his heart cried out for his father to take him home.

—-
heyyyyy
i'm thinking updates every 2~4 days? unless i feel like writing sooner hehe