Amara

TWO

I SAT DOWN on my bed letting my long dark brown hair spread out amongst the sheets and thinking about what happened last night, Kai texted me "you're fucking other guys now? you fucking whore" I didn't know what to say, so I left him on read. 

I tried to call him that morning, but he didn't pick up- probably fucking some blond chick. He always had something for blond girls, but he didn't want to admit it. I wanted to stay home today after what happened, but my mom ordered me to go to school. I didn't tell her yet. I didn't have any clothes left though- except for that old ass white dress and a green hoodie, everyone's going to think I'm a slut if I wear that dress. 

How am I going to tell Kai I was raped? I forced myself to wear the dress and put my hoodie over it so I look somewhat like a normal person. If I wanted to continue my life like a normal person without problems I had to go to school that day. I didn't.

Instead I ran away, I ran away from home. I wanted to see one of my only friends. I went to see Naomi before school to tell her about last night. I knocked on the door and her mom opened, she looked at me in disgust as if I were a rotten apple that fell from a tree right on top of a pile of dogshit. She let me in and told me Naomi was upstairs.

I sprinted up the stairs and knocked on Naomi's door, "Just a minute mom!" she shouted. I opened the door and waltzed in her bedroom filled with pink objects. She bounced back in schock "Why are you here? And why do you look like dogshit? What is wrong with you?" she asked. 

I looked in her bright blue eyes which were filled with the reflection of pink walls and said "Look, I have to tell you something." She sat down on her bed which was covered by pink tops and pink sheets. I sat down next to her and told her the story of last night, when Naomi abruptly interrupted me. 

She said "Yeah sure, he dragged you into an alleyway. Do you have any other fantasies?" She stood up and told me to get out of her room and change to go to school. I shouted "I'm not lying! He dragged me into the alleyway and tore off my skirt!" When I said that she looked like she had just broken up with her 63rd boyfriend, she was mad.

I knew I couldn't go back home, because my mom would just get insanely mad at me. So I did what I thought was the right thing, I told Kai to send the video to Naomi for proof I was raped. Which he did, he sent the video, and Naomi was furious. "Why would you let a guy film it when he's fucking you Amara?!" she shouted. 

I was getting more and more annoyed, she wouldn't fucking believe me! So i busted out of the house and started running, I started running and I didn't stop, I wanted to get away from Naomi, from everyone, from everything. I found a place under a bridge which didn't look as bad as all the other bridges. 

I sat down and opened my phone. 223 messages? This must be a dream, 223 messages?? I opened one of them and the only thing it said was 'Amara you filthy whore'. I was confused, I didn't know what they were talking about. I opened another one: 'Why would you film that Amara you disgusting little slut' I didn't know what to do, Kai must've spread the video around the school to make me look bad. I decided to send Kai a message, he was the one that caused this after all.

-

I spent two nights under that same bridge with a few snacks I found and water from the rain. I still didn't send a message to Kai, I knew I had to do it if I wanted to make my life any better, but I was too scared. 

What if he didn't believe me? What if he just thought I said it for attention? What if he thought it was all made up to cover up cheating on him? 

I had to do it though, so I did it, I sent a message to Kai explaining everything that happened the last few days, I told him everything about Naomi as well. He didn't believe me at first, but when I told him about the days under the bridge, he felt bad. He apologized, but that wasn't enough. He ruined my life, now I'm going to ruin his.