INSEPARABLE I

XXVIII

In the upcoming months, Noor felt herself beginning to slip into a depression. The state she had lived in for two long years after she and Prem got married and were separated was returning to her. At the time, she was convinced that she was fated to spend the rest of her life in that condition but Prem came out of nowhere and took her over like a storm. He eliminated all her misery and lit up her entire life with one kiss without once worrying about the consequences. Per usual however, their happiness didn't last very long. It seemed destiny didn't believe in leaving them alone and in peace for too long.

Now once again, she was starting to lose interest in most activities of her life. She began avoiding most social gatherings though she was disciplined enough to never delay a court session. Basher was a prosperous state that deserved a competent leader so she did her best to do justice to her position. However, beginning to find herself constantly exhausted, she no longer had the motivation or the drive to do anything extraordinary for her people. Her life had become monotonous. She did her chiefly duties to the best of her abilities and spent the rest of the time alone either in her quarters or in her private garden staring at the various water fountains surrounded by rows of colorful flowers.

Having experienced a complete change in her state of mind, it was no surprise then that Noor Dhaliwal showed up at the next assembly looking just as she did in her very first. She wore all white, her hair parted in the middle and tied in lose bun at the back of her head. Nothing but a pair of small pearl earrings sat on her earlobes. Her expression was firm and the laugh lines that resided around her usually vibrant smile were now nearly invisible indicating in every way possible she had given up on life.

As Noor got settled into her throne, Prem too entered with his ministers. His mere presence seemed to have woken her entire existence up after a three month long slumber. After his routinely greetings to the court, he took the throne right across Noor as usual. Only this time, Noor didn't rush to look up, nor did she wait desperately for his eyes to find her. Instead, she simply shifted their attention to the speaker and listened in. She was a politician and politics she would do.

The assembly went through its agenda and eventually concluded. Noor did not bother glancing in Prem's direction to see if he had noticed the change in his wife. She did, however, struggle to understand her own stance in that moment. Why this sudden cold shoulder towards him? Was it anger? Or perhaps payback for his behavior at the previous assembly? Or was she simply trying to convince herself that she had grown indifferent, not just to her life and its cruel plays, but perhaps to Prem as well? Maybe she was trying to convince herself to accept their separation as destiny. Perhaps they were just not meant to be. Perhaps this was for the best. She was half dead without him anyway. What good would speaking to him through her eyes accomplish after all? She would only be left begging for more.

Still deep in her thoughts, she walked along with the Prince and company to the grand hall where the feast would be held. She could hear Prem speaking to another Chief about some trade matter on the other side of the Prince.

"Nooreh..." Prince Udam called her name affectionately in a lowered tone as if not to call anyone else's attention to them. Snapping out of her thoughts, Noor looked at him. "You okay?" He asked softly.

She immediately called on the best smile she could manage in that moment and nodded her head rather vigorously, almost as if the stronger head movement would increase the chances of him believing her. He didn't reply. Instead, he simply scanned her face for a moment and then proceeded to focus his attention on preventing the grief that automatically descended onto his face from being so obvious. They were silent the rest of the way to the feast hall.

At the royal feast, Noor ate mostly in silence and kept her eyes primarily to herself. A voice that seemed to belong to Chand pulled her attention towards the entrance of the hall at the end of the meal. Noor watched her enter the hall and greet the Prince before making her way over to her father and whispering something in his ear. She eventually rose to her feet and headed towards Prem. Noor refocused her attention to the Prince, unwilling to bother herself with the sight.