We're having our lunch with Uy's family. I don't know what to feel. I feel nervous and don't know what to do because of what he said to me earlier.
A wedding?! As soon as possible?! Oh my god, wala akong mahingan ng tulong. I don't have any friends to ask for help because my mom don't let me to have one.
"Hija, you okay if next month natin i-set ang wedding?" Uy's mom said. I am speechless. I want to respect our lunch so I don't want to be rude.
"Ahm--" i was cut because my mom talk.
"Ofcourse she do. She love to, to be exact.." my said with a smile on her face. Bastos talaga.
"Well good, there's nothing to worry and to talk about." His father said. Gusto kong umamin sa kanila na pera lang naman ang habol ng magulang ko sa kanila. But i don't want to make a scene. I respect the foods first more than them.
"May i excuse myself? I lost my appetite. I'm so sorry." I said. I wipe my lips of a tissue before i stood up and they all looking at me.
"She'll be back.." my mom said and look at me.. "..right, Alizza?"
"I want to rest. Is there anything wrong with it?" I asked while looking at her straight. She look angry inside, i know that.
Hindi ko na sya hinintay makapagsalita pa. Umalis na ako doon at lead my path in my room and lock the door. My tears fell down on my chicks and having so much of tense on my chest. This is not the life i wanted to have. I also have a dream as them.
I wipe my tears and get my cigarettes and the lighter on the table beside on my bed before i lead myself in my balcony. I take off my dress and sat down to a small couch before i fired up my cigarettes.
Every smoke that i inhale was so satisfying, this is one of the best time I am spending with. I don't know how it relive my stress. Maybe I'm just like doing a meditating in a bad way? Haha.
I finished 2 stick of cigarettes before I vent in to my room and dressed myself just a sando and cotton short. I sat down to my bed and open my phone to log in my Facebook.
1,987- Friend Request
56- Messages
543- Notifications
I opened those and check it. I felt so guilty sa mga hindi ko nasipot na date. It is okay if they are mad at me. Family problem appeared so, I did not have any energy to face them. Malaman mo ba naman na ikakasal ka sa hindi mo na nga gusto, sa may edad pa.
I need to escape this shit. And I need to have a plan so I could live my life without them. I am tired of this.
----
"Talaga nga namang hindi ka nagkaroon ng hiya sa sarili mo hano, Alizza!?" My mom. I was about to eat my dinner when we suddenly bumped in the kitchen.
What a coincidence?! Napakamalas ko nga naman talaga!
"I am not playing around, mom. I will straight it to the point. Ayokong pakasalan ang lalaking 'yon." I said while I'm looking straight at her. I don't know if she'll agree with it, but if not? Then I need to escape from them.
"Really huh!? Hindi mo alam kung gaano kadami ang mawawala sa'tin pag pinairal mo yang katangahan mo---" i cut her.
"Then go! Humanap ka ng bagong anak na babae na ipapakasal mo sa lalaking yon! Unang una, isinusuumpa ko na kayo pa naging magulang ko!" I said. Her eyes widened with anger but I don't care! "Pangalawa! Mas okay pa na itakwil nyo nalang ako kaysa pahirapan nyo ng ganito!" I shouted. My tears fell down. Hindi ako sa sakit ng nararamdaman naiyak, ngunit sa galit. Galit ako, galit na galit.
"Watch your words, Alizza! Baka nakakalimutan mong utang mo ang buhay mo sakin---"
"Utang ng ina! Puta, kung nag-iisip ka, ginusto nyo 'to!" I shouted.
I felt her palm again on my face. That was hurt though. Shit!
"Sige! Sampalin mo pa 'ko! Ganyan naman kayo pag nari-real talk e, diba?! Gusto mo pa ng real talk ha!?" She did not response, she's just looking at me angrily. "Muka kang pera!--"
Then she slapped me. Not once, but twice. Parang nagdilim ang paningin ko sa lakas non. I hold on the table to keep myself standing, then i heard the voice of my brother.
"Mom, what are you doing!?" My tears fell knowing that I am not alone.. I am not. I felt his hand on my shoulder that made me feel so safe. I owe you, Kuya.
"Yang kabastusan ng bibig mo ha, Alizza! Wala kang magagawa kung hindi sumunod at sumunod lang sa'kin, naiintindihan mo ba!?" She shouted while her finger is pointing at me.
"Stop, mom! If she don't want to get married with that guy, then wag natin siyang pilitin. Let us respect her and let her marry the man she love. Looks like hindi ka nabigyan ng pagmamahal ni dad to act like that." My brother said. He has a point. Sobra na 'tong ginagawa nila at ayoko na!
"Manahimik ka, Andrew! At ikaw!" Then mom look at me. "Pack your things, because we'll having a bonds with Uy's family in Palawan tomorrow. And you don't have a choice to say that you don't like." She said and left us behind. Nakakapanghina.
"Thank you, kuya." I said and smiled at him. He tap my head and smiled at me back.
"Kuya will do anything para mailigtas ka, hanggat kaya ko. Ayos ba?" He said and grinned at me.
"Oo na. Alis nga, ang baho mo na kuya. Office naman pinapasukan mo pero amoy pawis ka!" I said. But I am just kidding.
"Hindi mo sure, HAHHAHAHA." He said then laugh.
We talked for a minute before we vent in our own rooms. I look my face at the mirror then i saw how red it is. Tss, kahilig manampal e ako naman ang kailangan nila.
Like what mom said, i packed my things.
I was thinking if I could scape while we are in Palawan? Maybe yes? I will try my best. Please, sana naman magkaroon ako ng pagkakataon.
Inilagay ko lahat sa bagahe ko and mga importanteng bagay na kailangan ko. As in lahat, pati mga papers and documents ko.
I am nervous...
--
I am fixing myself because mom said so. Aalis na daw kami ng 8:00 am dahil babyahe pa kami at ilang hours pa 'yon. I am cleaning my wallet then i saw may three credit cards. Something come up with my mind.
I open my phone then I saw it just 7:00 am. I fastly go downstairs then i saw mom holding her bag while she has a towel on her head. She looked at me confused.
"Where are you going?" She said and raised his one brow.
"Ahm, ilang araw tayo don?" I asked. I stay calm because I don't want to ruin her mood.
"Three." She answered.
"I'll just buy something. 8 pa naman tayo aalis." I said while looking at her straight.
"Bilisan mo lang. Ayokong hiyain nanaman ang sarili ko dahil sa'yo." She said and then she fix herself.
Yes! I call my driver then we leave. He took me to the mall like what i said. Sarado pa pero alam kong meron sa gilid gilid ang pakay ko. When i saw it, i ran with a smile in ATM. I will cash all my money out in my bank account.
Then when I'm done, i put all of it in my bag. I cashed out 700,000. Not bad tho. Kasya sa bag ko dahil sinadya kong walang laman na dalhin iyon.
We go back in our house fastly. Luckily, walang tao sa sala kaya nakaakyat ako ng walang nakakakita. It's 7:33 am, Good work!
I put the bag with money inside the other bag, a big one then dinaganan ko nalang ng ibang gamit.
