The Dark Lord's Consort

Chapter Ten - Hadrian's P.O.V

After the whole mess with Dumbledore, life sort of went back to normal. The manor was definitely empty now that everyone was in hiding. Tom and I tried to connect some more because I was getting ready for the approaching school year.

Tom was not happy about the approaching school year. His displeasure was very obvious, and it is getting on my nerves. He knows I have to go back to school. And yet he is grumbling and complaining as if he is never going to see me again. It isn't like we made a plan for me to be here every night.

"Harry are you almost done packing?" Remus interrupts my thoughts and I look over at him.

"Yeah, already packed. Just have a major pain to deal with." I tell him and he smiles slightly.

"Can I give you some advice?" he asks me.

"You can. But I doubt it will help."

"Well just listen to me cub. I have dealt with Sirius for a very long time. He grumbles when he is sad, he glares when he is angry. He smiles when he is proud. And he cries when he is in pain. Sirius has always been very expressive in his emotions, but his thoughts were always so hard to hear. He can share so much and yet you don't know who he is at all. I am very lucky to have learned the small pieces that I have learned. Your Dark Lord is no different. Cherish the pieces he gives you and learn to fill the gaps when needed." And with that, Remus leaves me to my thoughts.

He was right, but I was right too. I can't use his advice because Tom and I aren't in a relationship. We are faking it all. I wish we weren't, but I can't change that. Even if I tried, Tom doesn't feel that way about me. I know that I cannot possibly know how he feels but I like to think that I know Tom better than others.

"Harry?" My thoughts are interrupted again and by the one person I can never stop thinking over.

"Yes Tom." I respond to him even though I know he is going to complain about me going back to school again.

"Remus came to me and said that you were upset. Want to yell at me?" He asks me.

"No, I don't want to yell. I don't want to talk, or cry, or scream. I want uncomplicated. I want easy and simple. Tom, why can't we have that?" I ask him and I hear him chuckle softly.

I look at him and he is smiling at me. It would be nice if it wasn't in contempt of my emotions.

"Harry, we never got our chance at love. If you had a chance now, what would you do?" He asks me and I look over at him confused.

"I would make sure Dumbledore can never get the chance to make it so I can't have that chance. I would make sure they are safe, but I would also allow myself to be happy. I wouldn't hide from them. I would tell them how I feel. And I would also tell them of the danger that Dumbledore poses. I would make sure that they can handle themselves. Why?"

"Because I wouldn't give myself that. I would make sure they are safe before I even let them know of how I feel." Tom tells me.

"Is that why we are doing this? So, this person that you love is safe?" I ask him and look away from him.

I hear him sigh and come over to me. He lifts my chin, so I look him in the eyes, "Harry, I have always wanted to make you safe. You never asked me why I gave you that offer first year."

"Well, you never asked me why I accepted. I don't see how that is relevant to our conversation now. Who do you love?" I demand of him and watch as he looks away from me.

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because it isn't safe now. When it is safe, everyone will know. Until then, a secret is best kept to only one."