Ray of Light - Ashaangi FF

Chapter 22

Disclaimer: This story is just a fan fiction and has nothing to do with the real life characters.

Ashwin saw his long lost friend who had left him all alone during his struggling days. He smiled externally but internally ashwin was struggling to cope up as the pages of his past days were flashing through his yes.

"Kadavul innekku en pakkam" his friend thought

He moved towards ashwin and behaved like he still had contact with him whereas he had left his friendship long time ago with ashwin when he got into the cine world. This person was one among his so called friends who didn't even bother to support him or help him when he required him the most.

He seems to be a true friend but on the sly he used to criticize him behind his back and acted like a true friend in front of him. This affected ashwin's mental health a lot during his initial carrier days. Literally he had no one to support except one friend who still support him genuinely.

Ashwin being a very genuine person was affected the most by his behavior. The person standing before him is just a mere representation of many of his friends, relatives who deliberately pulled him down. But he had confidence and belief in him which paved a way to the success what now he has achieved.

Ashwin heard him saying near his ears "Enna macha periya actor aayittiya? But how long will you sustain?" he said with a smirk and ashwin's mind was racing so fast hearing the words. His eyes got blurred and no longer made any sense. Just two lines, but enough to make his life again go back to when he was "the struggling actor ashwin kumar".

Even though ashwin felt disturbed by his comment he gained all his courage and revert back "I will prove you wrong very soon buddy" patting his shoulder. His friend saw a different ashwin who had fierce and confidence in his eyes making him frown in disappointment and went away not even bothering to bid him bye. But he felt as if the life he had worked so hard and sacrificed so much to build began to crumble around him.

Sivaangi felt him disturbed and soon her motherly instinct bloomed and she went near him and asked "Yaaru athu?"

"Ennoda college mate ma" she hugged his hands and blinked her eyes in assurance. Even though ashwin didn't address that topic she was sure something was bothering him. Ashwin felt much better by her presence near him but the whole ride back was in silence. Sivaangi was now sure that he is not fine with this intimidating silence.

They reached his home. His family had already arrived a bit earlier than them. Ashwin rushed to his room not able to control his emotions. His mother asked him to join them for the dinner "Ashwin va da dinner ready"

"Illa ma enakku vena...enakku pasikkala" he said and went to his room shutting the door behind him.

"Ennachu?" devi maa asked sivaangi

"Onnum illa maa nan poyi dinner kuduthittu varen" sivaangi said and took the plate and moved to his room

Soon he lied on his bed and all those days when he had to face discrimination and hurdles when he came to Chennai was flashing by and soon his eyes welled up and tears were flowing down. He still didn't know how he faced all the odds and acquired what now he has owned.

He doesn't want to go back to his old self where he used to restrain himself of not getting close to anyone because of his past incidents. He was used to shut him inside his room all alone with ps whenever he used to feel low and neither anyone cared about his loneliness.

He was used to keep things in himself rather than hurting others. He wanted to face everything all alone but always longed for that someone who can calm him but unfortunately he had to face everything all alone. He yearned for a partner at that time who could lend him a lap to shed his fears but he had to wait for 30 years to feel that magic in his life.

But now the question was, is he ready to open up to her about his vulnerabilities? He was lost in his own thoughts when he heard that soothing sound outside the door.

"Ashwin...naan ulla varalama?" she asked knocking the door and he soon wiped his tears and went to open the door to see his angel with his dinner.

"Vaa ma" he said and shut the door as she got in and placed the dinner on his side table. She let a sigh seeing his face. She knew he was crying by seeing his red eyes. She just wanted to heal him and didn't want to see him suffer all alone.

"Ennachu ashwineyy? She sat beside him in the bed and slowly ruffled his hair and asked him.

He couldn't utter a word instead he sobbed like a child, laying his head on her lap. She immediately caressed his hair. She understood that he's broken and he need time to open up. She let him cry so that at least all of his emotions come out. After few minutes he turned around facing her waist and hugged her tightly.

"Naan theru theruva alanjirukken oru chancekkaga" He said in between sobbing and sivaangi just caressed his hair letting him pour out his emotions.

"Appo en koode oruthar mattum than iruntha. Ava illana naan inge irukkathu. Ellarum enne vittittu poitta ma...yellarum. Yaarum en koode irunthathu illa enakku support ah. No one believed me"

He lifts his head to see sivaangi too in tears he just quickly hugged her tight and uttered "Enne vittitu poyidatha ma...enakku nee venum" he cried in her embrace just like a baby.

This was the very first time she saw him in such a vulnerable state. She understood that he is scared of losing people who are close to him. Her heart ached seeing him like this. She knew he still hasn't completely moved on from his past bitter experiences.

"Ungale vittu ennale eppadi ma irukka mudiyum? naan eppothum unga koodave iruppen" she said as she kissed his hairline

He slowly removed his head from her embrace and asked "promise" forwarding his hands and she responded with a "pinky promise" bringing a slight smile on his face

"Yaarum ungale believe pannalanalum naan ungale believe panren. Trust me you're going to rule the film industry, in fact you've already proven as a great actor. Enakku unga mela avlo nambikkai irukku. No one can pull you down. Trust me" she voiced out with so much of sincerity making him forget all his doubts.

"Ashwineyy the mass, ashwiney the bahubali...she couldn't complete as her words were swallowed by his lips. He kissed her leaving all his insecurities. It was a slow and passionate one as their feelings were pouring in. Tears were flowing from their eyes which conveyed how much they both meant in each other's life.

"Thanks ma for coming into my life" ashwin said as they parted their kiss but still their forehead touching each other.

He found solace in her embrace, comfort in her voice and peace in her selfless love.

"Thanks for making me feel complete" sivaangi said as she kept her face near his chest listening to her favourite rhythm which was just beating for her. It conveyed the intensity of her importance in his life.

She found her 'HOME' in the rhythm of his heartbeats.

How's it?

I really don't know whether I did justice conveying his perspective but I really wanted to add this part. I hope what I had in my mind was conveyed properly.

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