In My Dreams [Draco Malfoy]

chapter twenty-four: plans and peppermint

INDIGO

Dear Indie,

Hello, pretty girl. I was so glad to see your letter. How have you been? How is Aria, and Su Li, and that nice Cornfoot boy? Did he and Su Li start dating yet? I know such things can feel a little trivial after the past few months, but I hope you take the time to make the most of your time at Hogwarts. No matter the circumstances, you are a bright young lady, who is worthy of everything life has to offer. I wish only for you to live life to its fullest, and cherish every moment. Perhaps, this is why I was so slow writing back to you.

Truth be told, I have something I want to talk to you about, and I want you to be honest. I'm sure your aunt will criticize me for asking you this, as you're only fifteen. But you are both my daughter and a person who is deserving of respect, and you should have the right to say what you are and what you are not comfortable with.

Alex has invited me to spend the holidays with him in Ireland. He has family there that he would like me to meet and, given that we haven't been dating for very long, I'm not sure if it would be the right time for them to meet you as well. Of course, Alex said his family would be happy to have you if you wanted to come, which is just like him—always the unfailing optimist. I told him I would think about it.

We didn't spend Christmas together last year either because of the Yule Ball, but I know you've had a rough year, and if you want to spend the holidays together, we can do that. You do not have to meet them if you are not comfortable with that yet, and Alex has already said that he is perfectly happy to see his family on Christmas Day and spend Christmas Eve with us, so please be honest. You are everything to me, and if you need me right now, I am here for you.

Tell Aria and everyone that I said hello. Blaise, too.

Love you,

Mum

Dear Indie,

Hello! Thank you for writing to me. I've been really missing our summer tutoring sessions lately. I don't know what it is, but strange things have been happening and it's made school really suck. When I bring it up, everyone says feeling "out of place" is natural at my age, and I suppose that's true. But I felt the least "out of place" when I was with you, and I don't know who else to talk to about it.

French is going well. I have all A's and B's now, thanks to you, so Mum and Dad are happy. But I liked French a lot more when I was learning it with you during the summer. I hope I'll see you during the holidays. I didn't expect to feel so lonely when you left.

Miss you and hope to see you soon,

Kelly

After reading the letters, I sat in silence for several moments.

Anxious as I had been to see Calypso flying towards me with them clutched in her beak, the sight of her always brought an immediate sense of comfort as well. If Calypso had a letter, it was almost definitely from Mum, and I let myself sit in it, soaking in every bit I could get, and temporarily putting off the matter at hand...

Mum had been kind to consult me. Even at my youngest, she had always wanted to give me the same respect that she would give any adult, and right now was no different. But she was also right to worry.

If I was being completely honest—with myself, most importantly,—I wasn't sure if I was in the right headspace to spend another holiday without her. Last year was... Well, it had been rough, to say the least, and spending all the time without seeing Mum once couldn't have helped. I knew this. I woke up every day painfully reminded of this fact, sometimes with its ghost waiting patiently at my desk... But I also knew that I had spent most of my summer avoiding Mum when she was the person I needed most. For months, this constant loom had followed the people I loved, this look in their eyes that so desperately screamed "let me fix you!" I didn't want to be a problem everyone had to handle, an inefficient step in the equation of their every day that needed to be worked around. It was exhausting and heartbreaking to watch. I didn't like feeling like my mental state was a liability that everyone else would have to share the burden of. But I also knew that these thoughts and feelings weren't entirely trustworthy to begin with.