In love with the skater boy

Chapter Eight

I wish I could talk to someone about what I’m feeling right now, I wish my life was being written and someone could comment if I’m being unreasonable or not (hint for you my dear readers) but lets face it, it doesn’t work that way. Am I overeacting to everything? I’m getting all this mixed signals from him and I don’t know what its real or not anymore. That kiss felt real but sometimes, like when I pissed him off, he looks at me with those cold eyes of his and I don’t know if I’m that sure anymore.

I’m overthinking this in class when Laurie passes me a note saying “Are you okay?” and I’m torn, she is my best friend but I don’t know how much to share with her is safe, what if everything meant nothing and I have to ignore him for the rest of my life? I don’t want Laurie making jokes of silly eyes every time we see him in the hall.

So against every imaginary girl code I have ever known I reply with a simple “just tired”. I see her looking at me from the corner of my eyes and she doesn’t look a bit convinced but she lets it slide maybe because we are still in class.

By the end of class lets just say I want to get as far away from school as fast as I can and the sad part is I almost made it. I had already unlocked my car when a familiar hand grabbed me by my arm, I didn’t even need to turn around I just knew.

“What part of leave me alone you haven’t understand” I say through gritted teeth and I can feel my body betraying me, leaning into him just to feel his warmth. Ugh stupid hormones I’m blaming you for everything I swear.

He presses his body against mine, back to front, and his breath is against my neck, I couldn’t help the shudder that went through me and my stupid head tilted itself a little to give him more access to my neck.

He didn’t even hesitate and gave my neck a tender kiss, I gasped and my keys fell from my hand to the ground making a clinging sound. “Please listen to me Layken,” he said against my neck and I could already feel my will falling to the ground with my keys. Who am I kidding I’m about to turn and continue with what we were doing yesterday but I only get to the turning part and then he grabs me by my arms and I see a sudden urge in his eyes he wants so say something real something that might change us, I can feel it.

“Look, I’m not used to the whole dating thing and I’m NOT asking you to be my girlfriend or anything like that” he starts and I raise one eyebrow at his comment “So, what are you asking?” I say implying that maybe the best thing for him could be to stop talking. He gives an exasperating sigh and runs one hand through his hair “Shit, this is coming out wrong. What am trying to say is that I kind of like you and I know you kind of like me so don’t try denying it” he accuses and his eyes turn into slits.

Geez, he was a temper or maybe something against double standards.

Ok so I want everyone in the world to know (or at least the voices I have in my head, totally normal) that I have no explanation for what happened in the seconds following Damien’s statement but I can describe it quite well, like I was there. Because I was. Duh.

I smiled and not a shy smile but a full on grinning baring all my teeth and probably looking like a psycho smile. I didn’t know it at the time but I was really looking forward to those exact words, I felt like I could breath again even when I didn’t know I had a problem with that at all.

Damien must have sense my change of mood and sudden epiphany because he grinned like a psycho too and in that moment to thoughts came to my mind:

First, this skater boy likes me maybe not as much as I like him but enough to tell me.

Second, we must look really crazy right now but I don’t care what people think of me for a change.