Lost Existence

questions...

"Jas, open the door please." Cam was knocking on the bathroom door. "Jasper please." His voice sounded desperate. The knocking stopped. I was still on the floor with my head in my hands. I wiped away the tears that fell down my face and slowly stood up. I took a step away from the door and took a deep breath.

'Breathe Jas. Breathe.' I tried calming myself down before I opened the door. Once the door was opened, I was engulfed in a hug.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I should've thought before I said that. I'm sorry." He kept going on and on.

"It's fine Cam, let's just go eat." I pushed myself out of his grip and walked back to our table and sat down. He walked after me a few second later.

"Jas-" He was cut off by our waiter bringing our food over. I immediately started eating keeping my eyes on my food. We finished our food, paid, and left the diner.

The next week was pretty boring and normal. Cam and I would go to work, get breakfast, and then go back to our homes. We barely spoke to each other and when we did it was just small talk like 'how was your day?' or 'how are you?'.

Today wasn't any different from the past week. Me and Cam were heading back to our houses. We had only talked once today to each other and that was for finding out who was going to pay the bill. We finally go to our houses, we were neighbors. Cam's house was small. It had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, a small kitchen and living room. My house was similar but a little bigger having three bedrooms instead of two. Most of the houses here looked the same, light grey siding, black roofs, doors, and windows.

"Wait, Jasper, look about what happened that day... I know you went through a lot when Tate disappeared but that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. You've been so closed off since then and I think you need to step out of your comfort zone. I'm not saying you have to like me the way I like you, but you need to move on." Cam was looking down at me, his smile long gone since that day.

"Cam..." I knew this conversation would come up one day, but I wasn't expecting it now. "Look, I want to move on, I really do. I want to be able to love someone again, but I'm scared." Tears were now threatening to spill from my eyes. I looked back up at him, he was still looking down at me.

He hugged me. "I know you're scared Jas, but that's no way to live. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here." He pulled away and smiled down at me.

"It's not only that. I don't know how to do this." I pointed between the two of us. "I've never been in a relationship with a guy Cam. What will our families think, and what about the town? I don't know how to do that." I looked back down at the ground.

"Jasper, I don't care what people think. And I don't know how to do this either." He pointed between us like I did and smiled. "All I know is I want to try and figure out how." He hugged me again and then walked to his front door. "We can talk more about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I slowly walked to my front door and unlocked the door. I made my way to my room and plopped down on my bed. 'What the heck am I supposed to do?' I laid in my bed for hours looking at my ceiling just thinking. Eventually I saw the sunlight start to reappear in my room. I stayed up the whole night...