Lost Existence

gone?

'Today wasn't that bad.' I plopped down on my bed and went to sleep.

The next few weeks were good, really good. Me and Cam hung out a lot, we went on dates, and we did all that couplie stuff. Things were getting serious, and I was terrified. We were currently on a date, well the end of a date. We were walking home.

"Hey Jasper?" Cam stopped in front of his driveway and looked down at his feet.

"Yeah Cam?"

"I... I think I love you." He looked up at me. His eyes were full of so many emotions, none of which I could figure out. I just stood there frozen. What was I meant to do? Say I love you back? I'm not sure if I can do this again.

"Cam..." I sighed looking down at my feet. "I don't know what to tell you." This was going to be so much harder to do then it should be. Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes now.

"I'm sorry if it's too soon Jasper but I thought you should know." He was still looking at his toes. I could tell he was trying to hold in tears too.

"I love you too." I smiled up at him. He smiled back at me.

Everything went black, that was all I remembered. It was all fake. Nothing there was real, not with me and Camden, not with my family, nothing. It was all one big fantasy. Everything I had was gone. I keep trying to remember more and more in hopes that if I remember every detail, I'll be able to go back, but I don't think I'll ever be able to go back. Every time I think of these moments I fall deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit of darkness. Each time I try to remember I get sadder and sadder because I'm reminded that Camden is gone. I'm never going to get him back.