warning⚠️this story talks about depression & deep, negative thoughts. If that's too triggering for you please skip this imagine for a different choice. Thank you. ❤️
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This is exhausting. Everyday I have to put up this facade that I am so happy. In reality, I'm suffering. I cut my hair super short 7 months ago so now it's at my shouldersl.
Behind my back, I'd hear people talk about how ugly I looked for dressing the way I dressed and how short my hair is for a girl.
I don't usually mind but today doesn't feel to same. I can't hold back my tears any longer. I think one wrong thing is said and I'll completely shut down.
Taehyung will make me feel better, hopefully. He always does and just doesn't know. "Hey Y/n! My place?" Taehyung rushes to me with this big smile on his face.
"Sure." That's my best friend. I wouldn't choose anyone else. "Different. You're usually hype." He ruffles my hair and gets his car keys out. "Sleepy?" I nod. He opens the car for me and I just get in and buckle up.
"Sleep a little in the car. I'll get us smoothies." "Okay." He looks at me for a moment with a look. I don't say anything but turn my head.
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I drink my smoothie while sitting on his couch. His mom thinks I'm a lesbian so she doesn't care that I'm over. I'm really not I just dress like this. It doesn't bother me at all.
I do find girls interesting but I'm mainly into guys. I just so happen to be tomboy. "Did you do the Spanish work?" I shake my head. "I'll do it later." "You always do it early." Taehyung sips his smoothie while looking at me.
"Stop looking at me." I turn my back and play on my phone. He knows why I dress the way I do. I don't hate these type of outfits but I'm tired of trying to hide my figure so Taehyung isn't fighting all the time.
"I'm not going to until I figure out what's up with you." I sigh and click on a random app to distract myself. SHEIN.
I click on all the outfits I'd wear if it weren't for everything else. I add these outfits to my wishlist and Taehyung just kinda watches over my shoulder.
"Why don't you buy them?" "It's not in my size."
"But it says medium right there. See. I can get it for you on your birthday." I shake my head trying so hard not to cry.
Don't speak.
My mind tells me so I obey. I feel if I continue talking I'll cry in front of Tae.
Your body shape wouldn't look good in these anyway. Stop looking at shit that'll just show off how dumb you'll look. You have a butt and boobs. So what?
I bite my lip trying not to listen to my insecurities. I feel so sad inside. Depressed. As if I have nothing else to live up to.
"Y/n look at me." He lifts my chin. Tears slowly fall from my face. "You poor girl." He gently wipes my tears and hugs me. "Hug me back. The tears will stop sooner." I do as he says while keeping my face on his shoulder.
"What's got you all worked up hm?" I sniffle but tears still come down my face when I lift my head. I'm way too ashamed to look in his eyes and tell him what's going on.
"Y/nie~" "Stop smiling at me." I pout making him chuckle. I sigh and smile a little not being able to hold it back any longer. "There it is." Taehyung smile brighter.
"Yah! I'm not a child!" He laughs. After a moment, he finally hops back on the topic. "Talk to me. I haven't seen you cry since we were kids. What's gotten you all worked up hm?"
"I feel depressed. I dress the way I do to cover myself, I feel annoyed with my grades all the time, and I'm very much tired of everyone thinking I'm a lesbian!" I laugh a little at the last part as does he but deep down we both know it bothers me a little.
"I seen you looking at clothes. Try them." "Then you'll get into fights again-"
That's what this is about?" Taehyung chuckles. "I don't have a problem protecting you, Y/n-" "But I do! I don't like the reason behind your fights to be because of me."
"I won't fight if it bothers you this much." We talk about my depression and what's going on with me. Taehyung orders me a shit ton of clothes on a one day deliver type thing.
We try on what makes me feel comfortable.
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I change into one of the few outfits Tae picked out for me.
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Yeah it's not a drastic change or anything but it's completely different from what I'd normally wear.
I step into that school building with eyes on me. They weren't moving. The eyes weren't because of Taehyung, which I will admit is a hot guy, but because of me.
"Ahh you look great. I was scared you wouldn't go through with it." Tae pinches my cheek. "Don't do that!" "You think because we're in school I won't still pinch your face?"
"I don't want people thinking we're a couple." Taehyung looks down at me and I smile not being able to help it. "Would you look at that. Taehyung turned his best friend straight." McClyde. Of course.
"You upset it wasn't you?" One thing about Tae, he's not scared of anyone. "Pfft please. She has the face of a child." "And you think your child sized dick is gonna change a woman's sexuality?"
"Say something, McClyde. I dare you." I grab Taehyung's arm. "Let's just go." Before I could get Taehyung a little more further from McClyde the idiot opens his fat mouth again.
"She's not that bad from this side." I turn around and instantly fill with rage. The one thing I've been avoiding for months has finally come to light again. "Tae!" Taehyung throws a punch at his throat, grabs me, and walks to the third floor.
The abandon floor. "You're hurting me." We keep walking but he doesn't loosen his grip on me. "Tae please." He opens a door and shuts it behind us.
"I'm sorry." He let's go of my arms. "He triggered me and I just swung. This is exactly what you said you didn't want to happen and I ruined it for you. I'm sorry."
"Breathe." I help Tae calm down. I grab his face and squish it. He smiles and holds my hands while looking at me. "We should get to class."
"2nd period just not right now." While we sit and wait everything out we talk for a long while.
"At the moment, I don't feel like I'm in someone else's skin. I think I am not sad right now but I know when I go home I can be sure I won't feel that depression."
"I'm only worried about the moment right now." Tae grabs my chin, stares at me for a moment, shakes my chin, and walks away.
"You're a pretty girl but that isn't a reason for them to act this crazy over you. I can definitely see why especially if I was that stupid." "I'm not really that...pretty."
