The Pain He Caused - A blue exorcist fanfic (BEING REWRITTEN AS NEW STORY)

Him

A/N. Just so you know, the story does get progressively more graphic.  I will have a warning on every chapter so yeah. Enjoy. Also, what's your honest opinion on Yukio? Not my story Yukio but the real one from the tv show.

God damn it. I ran as fast as I could to my classroom, but it was all for nothing. I was late. I stood in front of the closed door and relaxed. I got ready to put on a fake smile. As I opened the door, my eyes turned to a very disappointed Yukio. Fantastic. He's already blaming me without asking what happened. Typical Yukio. His beady eyes followed me as I headed to my seat. He turned around and continued showing the class the different types of wolfsbane. I buried my head in my arms and squeezed my eyes shut. In these moments, all I wanted was to disappear. The feeling of eyes staring at me knocked my senses back. I wasn't invisible, at least not to him. He could see me. I felt bugs crawling all over my skin and my shoulders tensed. The anxiety in my body was overwhelming. With every breath, came the unbearable feeling of drowning.

"What's wrong Rin?" Shiemi asked. The warmth of her voice over powered the coldness of his eyes. I suddenly relaxed and I could finally breath. I lifted my head and looked at shiemi's big green eyes filled with concern. A small smile escaped my lips. "Nothing Shiemi, just...tired". That seemed to ease her worries a little but she kept her eyes on me for a little while longer, looking for any hint of me lying. To bad for her, I'm an expert at lying.

The rest of the hour went felt like an eternity. Yukio kept turning to me and asking me things. MY answer was always the same, "I don't know". My mind was numb and I couldn't think. I waiting for the class to end so I could run away, as far as I could. As soon as it did though, a lump formed in the throat. Shiemi and I stayed seated while everyone was leaving. I waiting for him to go before I did. "Hey Moriyama. Hey Rin". The sickening voice pierced into my ears. He was leaning down at our desk, between Shiemi's head and mine. Shiemi jumped, then smiled as I dug my nails into my arm. "Hello, Shojo. You really frightened me." I can only describe how I'm feeling as panicked. I was on the verge of hyperventilating in front of everyone. "May I speak with you, Rin?" Yukio requested as he reorganised a stack of papers. "Sure, S-sure." I moved over to his desk, where he sat, and a wave of relief washed over me.

"Rin". Yukio's stone cold voice shocked me out of my relief and I groaned. "I'm sorry I was late to class. I'll do better next time. Can I go".

"No". Ugh. Stupid Yukio with his stick up his ass. Just because he has to be perfect, doesn't mean I do. He's not my dad for fucks sake. "Mephisto called. Said you never went to class. What is wrong with you. Why would you do that Rin?". Hah funny. Whats wrong with me? Don't even get me started. "Jesus Christ Yukio. I just didn't wanna deal with shit today alright? I'm sorry".

"You can't be doing this Rin. I can't babysit you all the time. I have my own life. You need to take control of your own".

"You seriously consider what I have as a life?! This, what I'm doing, is not living!"

"What you mean?". Crap, I didn't wanna say that.

 "Nothing. Nevermind."

"Rin".

"If you truely cared, you would have noticed by now. I shouldn't have to tell you. I'm leaving." I headed to the door, ignoring Yukio's calls and orders. I couldn't care less what he thought. I swung the door opened and slammed it behind me. My hand turned white from the force in my fist.

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"We shouldn't do this. Just leave him be".

"No. The little shit deserves this". I know those voices. Guess it's beat-up-rin-o'clock. I turned around and saw Konekomaru and Shima chasing after Suguro as the rooster ran towards me.

"Can we not do this today Suguro. Not really in the mood". I just left the class and barely made it home before the 'thickheaded three' came charging at me. Suguro lifted his first and thrusted it into my face. I fell over and my head smacked again the concrete floor. I let out a groan. 

"Like I care how you feel, Okumura. You're nothing but a useless piece of shit". I felt a weight press against my chest. Suguro positioned himself over me so I could't run away or fight back. I was forced to just lay there as he pumped my face. When his fist were bloody and gross, he got off me and sat in my face.

 "Sometimes Okumura, I wonder if I should just finish you off. Do the whole world a favour. Then I think, nah. Let him do it hisself. Maybe then he'll have done something good". He walked off with Konekomaru and Shima in tow. I stayed din that spot, aches and pains every where. My nose felt broken and my ribs were probably bruised. I needed to heal before Yukio could see me like this. Fortunately, I didn't have to deal with the additional pain from yesterday. That had already healed. Perks of having demonic healing. If only I could heal mental pain well. After awhile, I sat up and took a deep breath. I looked at my clothes. They were soaked in my thick blood.  I slowly sat up, groaning from the pain. It was dulled but still there. I was about to head home when he stopped me.

"Hey Okumura. Wanna play a game?"

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YUKIO POV

Where was Rin?! It was past 1 and he wasn't home. I was planning on talking to him when he got here but as the hours passed, I just got worried. He wasn't responding to my calls and no one else in class knew where he was. Fear started to rise in my chest and I paced around the living room. I heard the door crack open and I rushed over. I couldn't believe my eyes.

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RIN POV

I was trembling. I didn't wanna move. I wanted to crawl into a ditch and die. I felt disgusting and violated. That asshole. He had to beat me up too. God, like I would tell. You don't have to beat me up and threaten me to stay silent. This secret will die with me in my grave. Plus, it's not lie anyone would care. They would just blame me. Say I was the one who forced you or something.

I checked my phone and the time was 12:46. There were also many missed calls and angry texts from Yukio. Agh Shit. I got up and screamed in pain. I grabbed the bed frame with one hand and wrapped the other around my lower abdomen. The pain surged through my whole body. It was horrid. I have no idea how I would walk all the way home. There was this old hut on the campus. A janitor used to live there till a new place was build. Now, no one ever comes here. Totally secret, great place to...yeah. It was about a 20 minute walk away form where I was living but it'd take me over 30 minutes in this condition. I got up and put on my clothes. I felt blood trickle down my leg and I shrieked in pain. This wasn't the first time I bleed and it won't be the last. No point dwelling on it.

After 38 minutes, I made my way back to the dorms. I was now in even more pain then before. Waking took longer due to the pain. I opened the front door and was greeted by a strongly worried Yukio. "Omg Rin?! What Happened?!" He reached out his hands and touched my face. I pulled my head back, groaning from the pain of his touch. "Rin. Tell me who did this". I pushed him out the way and walked away from the front door, my back turned to Yukio. I stood their for a second, thinking of how I would explain my bruises and cuts to Yukio. I tilted my head down in shame of what I had been doing. I knew I could never tell him. So I lied like I always do. "It's Fine Yukio. I'm fine". I turned my head back and walked into the bathroom.

I felt the tears start flooding from my eyes. I sat on the floor and screamed. It hurt like a bitch. I buried my head in my arms and cried. I just cried for 10 minutes. Memories flooding my head.

Do us all a favour and die

I felt hands crawling up my thighs and a tongue trickle up my neck.

No one would care

My heart raced and soon, I was hyperventilating.

Maybe I should end it all. God knows I deserve it

Yukio was banging on the door but I couldn't do anything.

I want to die

I was frozen in my memories and soon enough, I passed out.