When I heard Shane saying "I finally enjoyed living again" I was so envious that I got teary. It's all I wanted right now. To enjoy life again.
I knew I got severely depressed back then but was able to be enjoy life again. I loss my grandmother last year which made me developed an eating disorder. I lost 10 kilos in a month, that's not fucking normal. But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed starving myself and seeing changes. It made me not think of the loss. Then last august I got really sick and lost my appetite for the first time in my life. That scared me and when my appetite came back, I binged eat afraid to lose my appetite again. And I have been binge eating since.
Oh I think I need to mention that I developed fucking anxiety from school. And I can't erase it. Even being fully aware of my triggers and ways to mitigate, I can't escape the feeling. I absolutely hate it. I would choose depressed any day than being anxious.
Then I loss someone again this year. I did not have a heart to tell my friends directly but I made sure to tweet about it. It was so painful. I also had idk a breakdown? A panic attack? When I was home alone, I suddenly cried so hard that I had trouble catching my breath. And it was very painful.
That made me depressed again. I now have constant anxiety and depression . And add my eating disorder. Fun months.
I just want to enjoy life again.
YOU ARE READING
A young adult
Random⚠CAUTION⚠ Surface is hot. haha. This is not a fiction or anything that would be interesting to read. This is literally my personal journal that I'm gonna put out to the world publicly because I know people that I know will not know about this. It's...
