potions and lies

13- Unloved and cold

It was 4 in the morning when I was woken by the slamming of the door

"Severus? Is that you?"
I got out of bed and headed towards my door to listen

I could hear things falling and bashing about  I walked into the living room with my wand in hand.

"Y/N!!" A very drunk voice muttered
Severus had started walking towards me

"You smell of whiskey"

"That's because I've been drinking it y/n..." he spoke slamming himself down onto the couch.

.... "right well could you be quiet, you woke me up..."

"Y/n can we talk about what you said...you know about you loving m-"

"Not whilst you're drunk Severus, and especially not while I'm sober, I'm going to bed" I cut him off
I turned and walked back to my room

I seriously wasn't ready to be embarrassed about saying I...I loved him, although it was true I hadn't even properly acknowledged it myself before I blubbered it out drunk...

"Y/n WAIT....I love you too"

I stopped in my tracks without turning, my eyes started to tear up
.............

Silence filled the room for what felt like 10 minutes but was probably only 3

"Do you mean it Severus?"
There was no reply....

I turned around to see a now fast asleep Severus sprawled out of the couch.

I placed a blanket on him and took myself to bed .
As I fell asleep the same thoughts looped in my head

Did he mean it
What will happen now
Will it be awkward In the morning
Will he remember saying it

Time skip next morning

Severus POV

Ugh my head, how much had a drunk last night ??

I woke up on my couch, a blanket had been put over me.....must have been y/n.

Merlin please tell me I didn't make a fool of myself"

*slam*
The cupboard doors shut.

"Morning!, want a coffee?" Her voice sounded happy ...maybe nothing bad happened last night then

"...if you're having one...."

She was dressed in a large top..one of mine...?
To be fair she hadn't had chance to bring her own cloths .

"So..you ready to go back to Hogwarts today, I mean ..I need to train for the next tournament it's in a couple days is all.." fuck I'd forgotten about that, as if there wasn't enough bad shit to deal with, this girl seemed to always getting her self in life or death situations

"Yes of course, I mean I have some lessons to cover but we'll have time after and in between of course, we'll-you'll just have to make sure you're in it 100%, We don't have the time to be talking about nonsense all day instead of getting you prepared, otherwise you could very well end up dead so it's up to you if you take this seriously or not I'm alive no matter your choice"

"All right! Chill out 'Professor Snape'"

I could tell she was trying to wind me up ....

As much as I hated it , it was working.

No-one called me that apart from students and all the students saw me as a unlovable horrible man not worth a second thought, and honestly i don't care...but with her ..with her it's different, I don't want her to see me like that ...but when she used that name it feels  like she's  just another student and all she can see is a cruel cold hearted unlovable man....

Y/Ns POV

"Alright chill out Professor Snape" I taunted him

"Oh btw L/n don't worry about clothing I'll have monty bring you something to wear"

I'm going to ignore the fact he used my last name..."Monty?"

"House elf"

I didn't know sev had a house elf...I don't like the idea of them to be honest, no creature should be kept against their will..

"I didn't know you had a house elf?..."

"Well technically I don't, I freed him from a family a long time ago and he's helped me out ever since as a favour, he's basically family , I don't make him do anything he doesn't want to."

Thank Merlin he's not one of THOSE people
And by those people, I mean the dickholes who still part take in Morden day slavery.

"Oh right ..ok cool" I grabbed Severus' coffee which I'd now Finished making and set it on the table in front of where he sat..

"WAIT!"

"WHAT?! What's wrong ?!?!"

"Don't just put it on the wood it might spill, here use this"

He handed me a place mat the put underneath the cup

"For Merlins sake sev-Snape you almost gave me a heart attack!"
I spoke trying to catch my breath

He glanced up from his paper a short moment and then returned to reading

Time skip - on the Train to Hogwarts
Y/ns POV

"This ones Empty... come on hurry up"
He grabbed my arm pulling me into a empty cart.

"Is that really necessary? I can walk without you grabbing me!"

"Stop winging and sit down"

"I don't see why I have to be in the same cart as you anyway" I slammed my self into the seat and sighed

"This is going to be FUN!" I said sarcastically

"If you'd shut up then I think it'd actually be quite enjoyable" Severus had now put his face into a book

"Hahaha so funny, like I said feel free to go into your own cart"

"Cant" he mumbled not looking up from his book

"And why's that?"

He pulled out his wand and put a silencing charm on the cart
"Dark lord wants me to keep an eye on you"
He muttered still not looking away from his book

"Oh so we're using that as an excuse now are we" I rolled my eyes

"Excuse?...and what would the excuse be for exactly" he raised an eyebrow this time glancing at me before returning to his pages

"Because you want to spend time with me " I taunted

This time he looked up from his book

......................
"Stop it"

"Ok PROFESSOR SNAPE"

A moment of silence passed

"I know what you're doing y/n..."

"I'm not doing anything Professor"

"Stop"

"Stop what sir?"

"I mean it"

I could see he was getting frustrated

"Fine ......."

"Good!"

"Sorry Professor" I burst out laughing

"RIGHT IF WE'RE GONNA PLAY THAT GAME MISS L/N THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET YOUR OWN CART"

Jeeeeezzz......okay maybe I pushed it too far

"Sorry...I'll stop"

The rest of the train ride was in silence
,although I did catch him taking glances at me every now and then ...I wonder what he was thinking ...