Open Heart

Chapter 26: So Much...

        IF THERE WAS NOTHING THAT could've brought back my sense of optimism again after all that happened, holding my newborn nephew certainly did.

I had probably washed my hands ten times and took a long bath before I held him. For extra safety, my face was covered with a mask.

It was true what they said about these pandemic babies because he was barely 13 hours old and it seemed as though his eyes were following my finger. Unlike his mother who only had one blue eye, both of his eyes were blue.

Looking into his eyes was like taking your first dive into the ocean and like the water wrapping its arm around you with eagerness. Protecting you as you witnessed all the wonders that were down below. Then swimming back up slowly with the sun giving your body a warm, welcoming kiss.

He was so precious, so beautiful, so innocent as he slept.

I was already in love with him.

"Auberon," I whispered, tasting the name for the first time with approval.

Dove and Oliver both agreed on the name to continue the tradition of Dove's side of the family of having animal names. Dove's parents started with her and ended with Raoul, seeing that he was their last child.

For the little cutie in my arms, it was either Auberon or Orson, both having to do with bears.

Mom and Oliver were giving Dove a bain, a postpartum herbal bath. For Dove's bain, it was a mixture of castor oil, salt, Spanish needle, papaya leaves, mints leaves, and soursop leaves.

After all the herbs were boiled, a hot cup of that was taken out for her to drink while hot. Then during her bath, they lightly beat her with the leaves.

This was what Haitians did for years to women after birth. The whole process of the bain was to tighten the vaginal muscle as well as to heal it.

When that was all done, they would wrap her stomach with a cloth and make sure she wore warm clothing.

After what felt like an eternity but was only about twenty minutes; I gently rested Auberon in his crib to help with whatever was needed for Dove.

Despite the tension, I had still put my anger away to make some Haitian soup for Dove as mom had instructed. In our culture, cold food and bath were avoided for about a month or two. It was about the second month-depending on the person-when the new mother was allowed to take a cold bath again.

I liked that about our culture because, with help, this allowed the mother to spend time with her newborn without the stress of taking responsibility for anything else. It also allowed the mother to properly rejuvenate.

As I busied myself in the kitchen, I had almost forgotten about Daniella whom Charity said never left the room from the night before. A bit of annoyance had subsided and I felt guilty. She was alone and isolated in her own family's home.

I then imagined how I would've felt if I were in her shoe. Would I have also been angry with my father then?

With this question bopping around rent-free in my head, I entered the living room with a different perspective. It was no use holding a grudge against dad. What had happened was already done.

Again, I found myself searching my siblings' faces for we never discussed the issue amongst ourselves. There didn't seem to be enough time for anything. Everything was happening all at once.

The relationship bump, revealed secret, the maybe baby, the engagement, now this.

I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palm. The hand with my ring remained deeply hidden in my pocket. Now wasn't the time to share the news.