The Black Swan

Chapter 22: Thoughtfulness

In a daze, she grunted in dismay as the fastenings on her blouse refused to give way. She squeezes it again in desperation - her head still swirling from the aftermath of their time together. Then, her clothes came off. It took her longer than expected, but she finally took off her garments - the stench of alcohol still lingering on it.

Frosty hands, the product of a wintry night, enveloped her by her waist, grabbing her tightly as the girl brought Yoonie's body to her own. She could feel her core glowing with an alluring warmth, a nice contrast to the icy feeling of Hyewon's touch. There were her feelings of anticipation yet uncertainty; excitement but hesitance. 

She shuddered as the cool water first hit her skin - bits and pieces of her failing memory from the night before resurfaced as she stepped into the showers. Deciding not to wake the girl up upon rousing awake, Yoonie surreptitiously left Hyewon's home without alerting her. For now, at least she was in the comfort of her home. For now, she had to worry about reporting for the next shift at the hospital. But for now... she had to deal with her own emotions.

Her lips collided with Yoonie's, taking air from her lungs as they kissed. Her hands roamed about and found the buckle of her blouse, unfastening it to reveal an opening at the bottom. Hyewon's hand slid underneath with much insistence, as if she knew exactly what she was doing. Her eyes held a glint of intensity as she first-handedly experienced Hyewon's affectionate side. 

And as the water fell onto Yoonie's head, cascading all across her body - she tried to visualise herself ridding of what she remembered. The water could act as a vehicle to remove her fumings. But she simply couldn't - she couldn't remove what she didn't have. She had to understand what exactly happened before she could even make the choice of forgetting, and purging her feelings. She had to confront what happened. 

"Mhmm... so hot for me, Yoonie." Hyewon's whispers brushed the fine hairs on the back of Yoonie's neck. She continues, sinking her teeth down on Yoonie's exposed back, gnawing away at her sticky skin - the result of a cold and humid night. Yoonie moans instinctively, unsure of how to respond to Hyewon's advances. She was too tired to properly think about what was going on - so she decided to let Hyewon take control of their situation. 

Leaning forward, her head rests on the wall ahead of her - the light knock on her noggin' forcing her to unpause. She did not want to be late - she already had a bad rep with her team's number one fan, Jongho. She rubs her head sorely, then reaching for her strawberry flavoured shampoo to soap her mid-length hair. What a pain it was to wash, but she couldn't take chances showing up with a mop of messy hair. Her job was to remain discrete - not scare the living lights out of whoever she crossed paths with.

Going through the motions of rinsing her hair, Yoonie's head simply could not empty itself of all the questions and frustrations she had. Did Hyewon mean what she did? Or was it just a fling? Was I used as a rebound?

Her eyes found the portrait she had taken with the girls from the orphanage. After Yoonie's pleas, the four girls and Sister Jihyo had agreed to let Yoonie keep mementoes of them before they returned from her graduation ceremony. She had engaged the services of a photographer to capture photos of them - paying a hefty sum in exchange of several coloured pictures of them in that moment. The gift might mean trivial to Yoonie, who had been exposed to the technologies and modern life of the Capital. But to the girls living on the countryside - the gift was evidence of how backward the Outer Circle had been, in comparison to the Capital. Karina... Yoonie found herself pausing at Karina's image - her smile so contagious, highly efficacious in bringing a similar shine to other person's face. But today, she was too filled with guilt to smile at her. No - she could not bring herself to do so.