The Black Swan

Chapter 25: All of You

"Empty" - it's the only appropriate word to associate with moments of grief. The reluctance to part, the tenderness of one's heart; a lingering effect with a feeling of regret - these are the typical emotions when it comes to losing someone. For Yoonie, it was a feeling she had never truly felt before. As an orphan, she hadn't had many people whom she could grieve for, whom she could feel pain for. Her loved ones had primarily been her friends and Sisters of the orphanage - and never had she experienced this kind of loss.

Yet just two days ago, she found someone who loved her. He loved her so much, that he had put himself between her and Ji-hoon - the heartless Blood Magician who sought to demolish Yoonie. You may call him foolish, reckless, even stupid. But if not for his courage, Yoonie knew that she would be the one lying in that wooden casket.

Together with Jongho, the two bowed courteously to Chaein, Jaeyu's younger sister - his only remaining family member. According to Jongho, Jaeyu and his sister had a tough time since young, when their parents passed on in Iz*land's struggle to independence. Both warriors of their time, Jaeyu wished to honor them for their heroic past, toiling day and night to enter the Queen's Shield as a knight. How he had lived up to that vision...

Chaein stepped aside as she let the two team members see Jaeyu's body for the last time. The processions were going to be ceremonial in nature - the faction offering to send him off as gratitude for his service to the country. The room was dimly lit with nothing but several wax candles. Despite being her trademark prowess... Yoonie was far from comfortable with the darkness.

There were some of Jaeyu's belongings laid out neatly at the foot of his casket. The blade he used in training and in battle stood out - clean and wiped of the blood, of Ji-hoon's, and his own. Yoonie could still remember the fearlessness in his gaze as he faced Ji-hoon head-on. The rashness of Jaeyu was what eventually bought time for Daniel to reach them - and put an end to Ji-hoon's destruction.

"Yoonie. Take the time you need," Jongho assured her, letting her know that he would leave her alone by Jaeyu's casket. Ever since knowing of their team member's demise, Jongho had been... different. Yoonie appreciated the fact that he decided to put aside their differences, seeing that their fallen faction mate would prefer it this way.

There he was. Dressed in a white garment, hands held together at his chest with a small bouquet within his fingers. His eyebrows parted, relaxed, as he remained motionless. It was almost as if there was a little smile on his face - so at ease; so relieved that he had gone protecting the girl he loved.

Her knees gave way. Yoonie knew he would have hated to see her like this - losing sleep, having no urge to do anything but to sob uncontrollably for him.

It's all because of me! It's always because of me, that things like this happen to the people around! She clawed at her heart, a stinging pain at her chest being the physical manifestation of the sadness she felt. He doesn't deserve this. No one should deserve this! No one but me should face the consequences of my own actions. Slowly, she brought herself to her feet, deciding that she needed to see Jaeyu for the last time before his body would be cremated.

It's all my fault, Jaeyu. I should never have gotten close to you. I should never have made you fall in love with me.

Despite her words, how she longed to reach inside the casket and hold his hand. She knew that love required no reason - and for that reason, she wanted Jaeyu to feel happy. At least for one last time.

Chaein enters. She rubbed Yoonie's back assuringly in small circles, empathising with her pain. The girl informs Yoonie that she must leave - for the designated helpers of the Noble Servant have arrived, for the sending off of Jaeyu's body. Several masculine figures entered the chambers. She watched as they closed the opaque lid on the casket. One last look at Jaeyu, she took.