Shades of Gray

Chapter 6

Snuggling into the body of whoever is carrying me, I sleepily open my eyes to find Ryker carrying me out of the school. Lying my face into his warm neck with a soft sigh as I tighten my arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry, Ryker, for being a bother," I mumble against the side of his neck with a sniffle as he walks outside.

"You're not a bother, love, so there is no need for you to apologize," he gently assures as he pulls me tighter to him.

"Thanks though for helping calm me down," I mumble around a yawn.

"Do you think it is a good idea to still see your mom?" he asks while stopping next to my car, and placing me on my feet.

"Yeah, if I don't do it now, it will be worse the next time," I pout while I snuggle against Ryker's body since he has kept me in the circle of his arms that are around my waist.

"Okay," he reluctantly replies before seriously continuing. "Call me afterwards if you need to talk about anything."

"Thanks Ryker. Do you want to come over to mine afterwards? Kyler and Wyatt are, and they will be there at six, and we're having pizzas," I reply with a hopeful small smile while I lightly chew on my lip.

"Send my your address, and I will be there," he agrees with a fond smile toward me which I blush at.

"Great!" I grin up at him after I pull my cell from my back pocket to do this now.

I'm trying to be chipper, and not dwell on my pending visit, also I want to forget my freak out from earlier. Ryker's phone dings a second later with my incoming text, and he tells me softly after pulling in tightly; "Everything will be fine. Maybe not today, or in the near future, but it will be eventually."

Softly sniffling against the sudden tears, I nod my head against his chest while wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, as I whisper out brokenly; "You promise?"

"Grayson, I promise," he frimly yet gently says with conviction as I pull back to look at him intently in the eyes.

"Okay," I sniffle again with a slight nod before deciding I need to leave so I can meet Nanma on time. "Thanks and I will see you tonight."

"See you tonight, and try not to stress too much," he murmurs with an encourging smile.

Giving him a small wave as I settle into the driver's seat of my car, and Ryker returns my wave, but doesn't walk to his vehical until I'm settled, and backing out of the parking spot. Arriving at the cafe, Nanma and I share a plate of french fries, and we each have a drink (non-alocholic of course) before we drive over to the prison a little while later. Parking our vehichals, we turn the engines off, leave everything but our keys and I.D.'s in the cars, and make our way inside.

Nanma and I each sign in on the clipboard, drop our keys and I.D.'s into the trays to be run through the scanner, so we can each go through the metal dectors before grabbing our stuff. We make our way to the visiting area for the woman inmates, and I stop a few feet away from the door, and I take several deep breaths in order to calm myself down.

Nanma realizes that I am not behind her, so she turns to walk back to me, stopping directly in front of me with an encouraging smile; "If you want to leave any time before the hour visit is up, say so, and we will leave, okay?"

Silently nodding as I try and swallow around the lump in my throat, and she gently squeezes my arm before leading me into the large open area. The visiting area has multiple lunch room tables with benches, and these are bolted down to the floor, and nothing else is in the room other than several female guards, and female inmates. The female inmates are wearing light orange pants and shirts that resemble nurses outfits, light orange Slides, and white socks.

Scanning the room for my mama, my eyes land on her, and she doesn't look any different than I remember, just ten years older. Her hair is still a dark red color which is pulled back into a high ponytail, light blue eyes, and pale skin. Touching Nanma's right shoulder gently to gain her attention, I gesture toward mama, and we make our way over to her. Nervously sitting down next to Nanma, we sit down across from her, who is smiling brightly at us.

"Hi baby, it's nice to see you," she softly greets, but her smile falters some when I continue to frown at her without a reply. "Hi mama, it's nice to see you, too. Thanks for making Grayson see me."

My frown deepens as my silent anger flares internally as Nanma instantly frowns at her, too; "I didn't force Grayson to visit. He decided this on his own."

Mama frowns slightly before turning her attention back to me; "So, do you have a girlfriend? How is school? You have this year and next year right?"

"No girlfriend since I'm gay, but no boyfriend either. School sucks like normal, and no, this is my last year," I numbly reply, and I thought Nanma had said that she told mama this in prior letters, but perhaps not.

"You can't be in twelvth grade since you are not old enough. You're really not gay are you?" she questions like I'm not being serious with her with a deep frown as she looks between Nanma and me.

"Rebecca, I have told you both of these a few years ago, so don't act like you don't know," Nanma tiredly sighs.

"I knew this was a bad idea," I seeth toward mama. "Nanma, can we leave please? I have no damn idea why I freaked out earlier, but now I know why, and should have just stayed away."

"Let's go, Gray," Nanma agrees, so we stand to leave.

"Please stay," mama quietly begs with a pout and wide eyes. "I'm sorry, but I want you to stay since it's been so long since your last visit, and I didn't think what you said was real."

Nanma looks at me for my answer, and I answer by walking away. I know I am being a baby about this, but can you really blame me? She was told by Nanma and now she thinks we were joking with her. I know I haven't seen her in a while, but it is hard to see her regurlary.