Lust and greed (jokerxbatman) (SATIRE 👹)

[1] A hot bath

Batman pov: 

Turning off the tap in the steamy bathtub, I went to close the door. It was about time I had treated myself, even if it meant just a hot bubble bath in one of my bathrooms. In fact, I'm quite fond of them, especially the bath bombs - the way they disintegrate so peacefully in the hot soapy water, the refreshing shimmer of the colours through the slight steam circulating the room. Its all so calming. 

Sliding off my clothes, each piece one by one, was the most intimate part of this routine. Yes, any usual person wouldn't necessarily describe undressing oneself as intimate, yet wearing and being surrounded by the colour black on a daily basis really helps in forgetting just how your body is built, how each bump and crevice looked, how it all felt without that bothersome uniform I'm stuck wearing. 

Last is my underwear. I quickly slide off my grey boxers, and press them neatly between my already folded clothes. I didn't even have to look down to see my throbbing member. 'I should take care of that' I couldn't help muttering to myself as I dipped my foot in the scalding water.

'perfect'

It didn't take much time for me to orgasm, after all I hadn't been with anyone so long that I'm practically a virgin. I'd only ever fucked 2 girls, 1 if hand jobs didn't count as sex, so you could say I'm pretty inexperienced. Being a full time superhero really does take away all of your time for personal pleasures.

Sitting up in the tub, I leaned my muscly arm over to a small, marble tray, filled with bath bombs.

 'Vermillion, lilac, sage green, oh, this will do.' I placed my first 3 fingers on a particularly blue one, careful not to damage its shape, and plopped it in the instant it had been in close proximity to the water.

 I watched in awe as it started foaming and fizzing up, filling the room with its sweet aroma, contaminating the water with the light blue shimmer, and most importantly disguising the small amounts of cum floating beneath its surface.

Joker pov:

This was it. My one and only chance to get rid of him, my arch nemesis. My arch nemesis.

I had been waiting for the blind spot to appear, the 'bad day' you may call it, that one anomaly in his day to day routine. A day where he'd be too distracted or tired to hear me sneaking in, in fact I'm quite proud of myself for not fucking that one up. After all it's quite hard to miss a purple blur coming in through your front door.

I recall turning left, and going straight for one of his closets (winkwink) which to my least surprise was filled with at least 4 identical silk pyjamas. 

Images of him wearing them filled my mind. I carelessly let it wander, and wander, yet the only way it seemed to wander was down, since all I could think of was his crotch. How his muscly arms would look in them, the way his biceps would show through, he must be so strong, so warm. 

An unknown, sweaty yet fluttery feeling invaded my stomach.

I know. It must be jealousy. Who wouldn't be jealous of that smoking hot body? 

With all the energy I had left in me, I pushed the closet door open, careful not to do so too fast in case it made any sound. Wait. is that- 

Without a second thought I crept towards the source of the noise. It sounded like water splashing. The only thing blocking my way was a door, meaning the noise must be in this room. I slowly turned the cold silver knob, and once I heard the already familiar *click* I pushed.

(AN: tell me if you want me to continue it 🧎‍♀️🏌️‍♂️)