Memories of a Life That Never Happened

Chapter 111 - The Girl on the Moon

"Here, let me do it." Escobar dropped at Jacira's feet to put on her shoes. Before doing so, he fondled her ankles with profound tenderness.  

Time had left her legs flabby and varicosed, but when he touched them, he saw none of it. To him, they were just a part of the woman he adored and therefore he regarded them with just as much devotion.  

Those loving eyes Escobar had whenever he looked at Jacira meant more to Mica than a million passionate kisses ever could. This was eternal. It was love. 

Mica longed moments as this for her and Theo, though deep down she doubted she would experience them. One way or another, a future where they ended up together was becoming harder and harder to imagine. Regardless of the promises made, his memories were sure to fall into oblivion. Her traits would fade away after a month or two. There would come a time when he would not remember very well what her nose looked like. Maybe a year later he would have trouble recalling the exact color of her eyes. One day, eventually, he would run out of reasons to think of her and forgetting her altogether would be just a natural consequence.  

It haunted her how Theo never thought of asking his parents to study in Switzerland too. There were, without a doubt, schools for boys there. Maybe they would not be together all the time, but at least they would be closer. True, his parents would probably never allow that to happen. Still, Mica was disappointed that he had not given her a way to keep in touch. A phone number or an address. Anything would do. 

Then someone shook her arm and Mica saw Escobar's mouth moving. Had he been talking to her? She could not say. 

"Sorry," Mica apologized. "What?" 

He repeated slowly, "Are you ready, Cariño?"  

"Yeah. All set." 

"Are you sure you have everything you need? It seems-." Joana directed an embarrassed glance at the Mica's single suitcase. It held the few items she had been given by her neighbors, most of which did not fit her properly. "So little." 

Mica could not help looking at the dozens of trunks, suitcases and boxes that comprised Joana's, Virginie's and Jean-Pierre's luggage. 

"It's more than enough," she reassured Joana. 

"Then we should get going." Joana sighed, threw the house a last glimpse. Mica could swear there was some nostalgia in it. 

Three cars waited outside. One for Mica and her parents, another for Joana and the siblings and the last one for the baggage.  

It was a long drive to the airport and the whole time Mica remained cradled in her mother's arms. All she wanted was to be with her family.  

Julian was the only one Mica could not muster the strength to bid goodbye. She could not bear the thought of him starting to cry and asking her to stay. So Mica spent as much time as she could playing with him, memorizing his features. She resented not being able to do the same with the house where she had grown up.  

The closer they got to their destination, the more she wanted to call everything off. But then, every time Mica was about to speak up, she recalled her talk with Escobar.  

"Jacira and Julian will be better off missing you than mourning you." 

Those words made her swallow her protests and keep going.  

Several hours later, they had checked in and were standing at the gates she would have to cross without her family.  

Inevitable as they were, her parents' tears burned inside of her. They cut deeper than her own did and if it was difficult for Jacira to speak, it was a torture for Mica to listen. 

"Call us. Anytime you can. Don't worry about the money. Just call us." 

Mica nodded, losing the battle to the knot on her throat. 

"My beautiful girl. My brave, sweet girl. I don't care if we're miles away. I'll always be thinking of you. I'll always be with you." 

Another nod and Mica's breath became faster. She realized she would not be seeing them for a dispiriting long time. 

"Listen to me," Jacira stared into her eyes. "Even when I leave this body and I'm not able to hold you in my arms-." 

"Mom!" Mica chided, turning away. 

"Just hear me," Jacira continued, hooking Mica's chin so she would look back at her. "I'll still love you. Every particle of me will always love you." She swallowed hard and tried to recompose herself. "My love will be all around you. Protecting you. No matter what." 

"I'm coming back, Mom." 

There was a vehement bobble of Jacira's head. "I know." 

"Julian..." Mica moaned. 

"Don't worry. He'll be fine. He's very young." 

"You'll tell him-." Mica choked. 

"He knows. He loves you more than anyone in this Earth too." 

Behind her, Joana cleared her throat and quickly wiped off a tear that had managed to escape. "I hate to interrupt, but we must go now." 

Jacira and Mica let go of each other and the girl gave her stepfather another hug. "Thank you. For everything." 

"You remember everything I told you?" Deep lines etched in his forehead. "It's very important." 

"I do." 

"You go and make a beautiful story come out of this ugly mess. For us." He rumpled her hair the same way he did with Julian. In a way, she would always be his little girl too. This man would always look out for her. He would be there when she needed rescuing. Could there be a greater treasure than that? For all the money Virginie's parents had, where were they when death looked her in the eye? 

Letting go of all this was harder than Mica had expected. Years whiled away as she imagined how it would be to leave Buriti. Now that the time had come, her heart could fit into a grain of sand. Her family had never seemed as wonderful to her as it did now that she was forced to part with it. 

"The car will take you back to my house," Joana said. "You can stay as long as you like. Henri is coming with us, but his wife, Mrs. Portier, will be staying with you." 

"We'll find someplace else soon," Escobar told her. 

"There's no rush. Take your time. Now we really should go, Mica." 

Every few steps toward the security gate, Mica turned to look at her mom. Jacira's swollen eyes, her trembling lips, the inaudible sobs: everything crushed her heart a bit tighter. Each time she stopped and turned, her mother looked at her so pleadingly that Mica unknowingly went back a few steps.  

Virginie, watching Mica struggle, took her hand and tugged it lightly.  

As she made it through the gates, Mica could no longer see her family.  

"It's only temporary," Joana told her soothingly.  

True, she would come back, but although she was still in Brazil, Mica could sense she had just set foot in a whole new world.