And So It Goes (Stevens Book 10)

Chapter 18

Agatha and Mave walked home in silence. Mave joined her in her living room when they reached her apartment, watching as Agatha threw herself down on the couch, numb to everything.

Training to be a nurse was hard, boot camp in the Army was hard, and two tours in a war zone were hard, but nothing was as hard as loving a man who couldn't or wouldn't love you in return.

What the hell had he meant by saying that if he could love anyone, it would be her? That was like a slap to the face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mave asked, causing Agatha to jump. She had forgotten that her cousin was there.

"Not really," Agatha said with a sigh.

Mave nodded. "I get that. Talking about it never makes it any easier."

Agatha knew that Mave had been in love with Sam forever, but she had never believed it to be anything more than a crush, but now her heartfelt words made Agatha think that it might be more for her than a simple crush.

"Why does it hurt so much? I thought loving someone was supposed to be all hearts and flowers!" Agatha picked up a pillow and threw it across the room in anger and frustration.

Mave shrugged. "I hear being in love has its moments."

Agatha thought about Paris. "It does." Her voice broke as she said the words. "You won't tell anyone, will you? Sam kind of knows, but he doesn't know it's so serious. At least I don't think he does." The last thing she needed was the family interfering.

"I won't tell," Mave agreed. "Did it start in the Army?"

"No, not really." Agatha shook her head.

"If it counts for anything, I think he does feel something for you. He did follow you out of the party when you were obviously upset, and he couldn't kiss you and look at you the way he did and not care. Perhaps he doesn't realize it yet," Mave thought aloud, trying to make the situation better.

"No, Merrick is all about control. He knows how he feels, and he knows how he thinks he should feel, and Merrick will always choose what he thinks over what he feels. If that makes any sense." Agatha was all muddled in her explanation.

"I get it. It's head over heart." Mave nodded. "Overthinking is the quickest way to make a mess of the best situations."

The blunt statement made Agatha smile. Mave had a bit of a wise streak.

When the gate bell buzzed a few minutes later, Mave smiled. "That will be lover boy, come to call, which means he does care. Do you want me to send him away?" Mave asked, standing.

"No, he won't go away until he's said his piece." Agatha knew it to be true. "The last thing I need is for him to follow me to New York and make a scene in front of Aunt Trisha." She shuddered at the thought.

"Lord, I couldn't even imagine that fallout, especially if Aunt Lizzy was involved or your Dad." Mave shook her head as she left Agatha sitting on the couch to go open the gate and let Merrick in because who else could it be?

A moment later, she felt Merrick's presence as he entered the apartment and slowly closed the door behind him. The silence stretched out for what felt like an eternity before he moved to sit in the chair across from Agatha.

In response to his serious look, Agatha sat up, placing her feet firmly on the floor in front of her. She would get through this conversation if it killed her.

"Say your piece Merrick, then let's leave it alone for good." Agatha clasped her hands between her knees and looked across the room at him.

Merrick was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.