Leather and Lace

Closer

Hey darls, bit of a trigger warning; mention of rape.

Sang

Everything was dark. The nightmares always started in the shadows. Always. A subconscious reminder of the thoughts plaguing my life. Of what I've been through and how it haunts me to this day.

The chilly air was filled with the stench of blood, sex, feces, and death. As if I were just beginning to open my eyes, the vision began to clear. I was in a cage with a raggedy piece of cloth that was intended to be a blanket.

As the awareness of where I was beginning to filter in, my pulse accelerated and my breath became shallow and quick as I huddled my quivering body into the corner.

This time, however, I was deaf. The shouts echoed around me, but I couldn't hear them. Nor could I hear the sound of footsteps approaching the cage where I was imprisoned.

I attempted to move already knowing what was about to happen. But all I could do was sit there and watch as a figure walked into my field of vision and popped open the latch.

They scooped me up and pulled me into their arms. I thrashed desperately trying to break free from their tight grip on my wrists.

They carried me into a different room. It had a tattered old bed with shackles dangling from the posts.

I struggled and shouted out as they chained me up. I couldn't hear my cries resonating around the room, my futile pleading for mercy. I couldn't hear the frustrated growls and demands to hold still. I didn't need to hear what they were saying. I remembered everything.

As they tore off my clothes, I remembered several men entering the room. Each item removed made me cry even more. Their sticky hands slid across every inch of skin, leaving a scorching trail in their wake.

I tried desperately to move again, but I was trapped in my own body, reliving one of my worst experiences, which I had carefully hidden away in the shadows of my mind.

My skin was burned by rough lips. My fingertips dug into my palms, my eyes tightly shut as my legs were forcefully split open.

They were making obscene remarks about my body. Even without my sense of hearing, I knew they were. I couldn't bear their lustful stares. And how they stated I wanted it when the fight had fled my body and defeat had taken its place. They were about to defile my body, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Let me go! Stop! Please!" I pleaded in my mind. I knew this was all a dream and I needed out. Now.

I woke up to a scream that rattled the house. I could hear doors bursting open, things crashing on the ground, and frantic footsteps heading to my room. Had I not been shattered from my dream I would have realized the scream I woke up to was my own.

Someone enters my room unexpectedly. I was too wrapped up in my head to notice who it was. I could still feel those nasty hands all over my body. The grunts and groans surrounded me.

"Sang, it's okay. You're alright. I need you to calm down." The person says something but I couldn't process their words. I could see them approach slowly in my peripheral, hands positioned before them as if I was about to strike any moment. Other figures stood outside the doorway, watching, and I barely noticed them in my current state.

I could hear myself muttering nonsense causing the person who barged in to rush towards me. I raise my hands to stop them from grabbing me to no avail.

"Get them off! Get it off! Get it off! Please!" I scream out clawing at the ghost shackles bounding my arms.

The person laces their fingers through mine and rests our adjoined hands on my lap. "Zatrzymaj się!" a deep voice ordered. (Stop!)