Leather and Lace

The Downfall

Sang

I couldn't wait to tell them, although I'm not quite sure how they would feel considering I went behind their back. It's a good thing Owen decided to schedule a meeting just between the two of us. I could tell him first and let him decide if I should tell the whole team I've been sneaking off every Friday to see a therapist.

I met Lily Anderson, my therapist, through an Academy elder, Stephen Schulz, who I bumped into on my way from a checkup with Dr. Roberts. We ended up talking in the hospital cafeteria for quite a bit. It happened quite frequently that now whenever I was at the Academy hospital I would meet up with him and talk.

We talked about how I knew of the Academy and how I met my boys, although I didn't go into much detail regarding my stepmother. He asked me if I was planning on joining the Academy and I told him that a few of the boys on the team were still adamant about me joining. He told me that if I really wanted to, he would be glad to help me. When he found out that I was the Blackbourne Team's bird he mentioned that he knew of another who was also in the same type of relationship, which brought him to introduce me to Lily.

Lily, being the best at what she does, immediately noticed how I still flinched a bit when she got too close and how hard I was pushing my bottom lip whenever I got too anxious. Thus, I became one of her patients for the next few months without any of the boy's knowledge. I decided to keep it a secret from them as a surprise. It took a while but I eventually started gaining more confidence and the nightmares gradually subsided. It was a grueling few months but I am now able to take showers.

After the Ashley Waters mission and everyone else was able to move out, we decided to move into an apartment complex so we were all close by but still had our own space. Although I had my own room with Owen and Sean, I would usually switch between apartments. North, Silas, and Luke shared an apartment, while the other four shared one. We decided it was best to separate Luke and Gabriel to avoid any pranking. Well, more pranking than what they're capable of now. And to assure North that Luke was eating somewhat healthily.

"I'm home!" I called out as I crossed the threshold of our apartment. I knew Owen was waiting for me in his office, I wasn't aware if Sean was here and would be present during the meeting, however. Although the silence that follows my statement told me he wasn't.

Unlike the other two apartments, ours was pretty minimalistic due to the two older members of the team. Thanks to Gabriel there were a few touches of 'me' here and there. Like the light beige walls, the fuzzy pink blanket draped on the back of the couch, the pictures of all of us on the shelves, and the Chrysler Imperial roses in vases scattered about. With Sean's random origami littering the place and a few of Owen's books on the accent table next to his favorite chair, the apartment felt like the perfect blend of the three of us.

My nerves shot through the roof as I stood outside Owen's office. I reprimanded myself.

Stop it. This is Owen, one of your boys. They wouldn't hurt you. Not only that but you did nothing wrong. Yes, you went behind their back and lied about your whereabouts, but you did it for the betterment of your mental health. You needed to be free of the nightmares and that horrible woman. You needed to free yourself so you could move forward with your life.

I took a deep breath and knocked, "Mr. Blackbourne?"

"Come in," his smooth voice reverberated through my head and I instantly calmed down.

I opened the door and stepped into the room. I noticed right away that he was sitting straight up, stiff, with his shoulders tense.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. The cold leather did nothing to assure my nerves as he stared at me with blank eyes. I never got a clear read on his emotions but today his blank stare felt off in a way. I placed my hands under my thighs to stop the slight shaking.

There was a long pause as he continued to stare at me. For the first time since I met them, I felt uncomfortable under his intense gaze. I barely stopped my hand as it twitched under me at the sudden urge to push my bottom lip into my mouth.

"I'm sorry to say this Ms. Sorenson. I talked with the team and we've come to the decision that we aren't compatible. You may still stay here, although Sean and myself would possibly move out," he said still staring at me.

Everything stopped. It was as if time was frozen over. I couldn't breathe. I faintly heard a little crack somewhere in my chest. And then everything came crashing down at full speed.

"I don't understand," I whispered brokenly. I was utterly confused. Why? What happened? Did I do something wrong?

I thought it wasn't possible but he somehow sat up straighter. "We talked and we agree that we want something more in the relationship. Something more mature. We've realized that what we have for you was merely adoration, puppy love."

Searing molten anger like no other flowed through my veins at his declaration. I couldn't believe he would say something like that.

"Sex, Owen! Just say sex! You guys want sex! I've been telling all of you I'm ready for that next step in our relationship but none of you believed a word I said on the matter! And you say 'we' yet where are the rest of the boys? I'm not in a relationship with just you, I'm also in a relationship with each one of them. They should be here explaining their side, not have their leader confront the problem! This isn't Academy business!" I stood and stared him square in the eye. "But that's just it, they aren't here, so I'm guessing not everyone agreed as you try to convince me they did. You're the only one here because you're the one who suggested it, you may have some on your side but that doesn't deviate from the fact that you most probably decided to confront me on your own without their knowledge. So much for 'family first."

I couldn't believe them, him. I couldn't believe that he would do something like this. I know that some of them couldn't have agreed to this, namely Kota, Gabriel, and Victor. Probably Luke and North too. But I wasn't too sure anymore. If their 'infallible leader' could do something like this then who's to say the others couldn't?

I straightened up and started walking out of the office. "Don't bother moving out, I'm leaving." I stopped to look over my shoulder at him. "I'm disappointed Owen, out of everyone, you were the last that I expected to do something like this."