Keeping Us Together (Izzal)

As He Goes Left And You Stay Right

TW: ABUSE

Some Sort of window to the right. 
As he goes left and you stay right. 
Along the lines of fear and blame. 
You began to wonder why you came. 
The Fray -How To Save a Life. 

Axl made it to his apartment and stripped off his wet clothes before getting into his shower. He didn't know why he was in there he didn't soap up or wash his hair he just stood under the warm water and thought about Izzy and the band. 

But mostly Izzy. 

How the man had walked over to Axl and said he wanted to push him off the building with hatred and fire in his eyes and voice. 

Axl started sobbing uncontrollably and loudly too. He was sure the city could hear his loud bawling as he cried for Izzy to just be by his side and hug him and love him again. As more than a friend this time. Because Axl needs that. 

Izzy spent the night pacing around his apartment wishing he wouldn't have been that way towards the singer but what was he to do? He was pissed and madly in love. How desperately he tried to love someone else he couldn't because they just weren't the redheaded frontman with anger issues that Izzy had grown to love.

They weren't Axl Rose. 

They weren't the boy Izzy had fought to protect, care for, and look after for so many years in Indiana. 

They weren't the singer who pranced around on stage draping an arm around one of the guitarists as he belted out the melodies of the songs they played so perfectly together. 

They weren't the man whose red hair was kept tuck behind a bandana as his bright emerald -that seemed to change from green to blue- shined so brightly and make Izzy wanna burst with every waking moment. 

They just weren't him!

And then Izzy heard it, the sounds of water falling from a steel shower head as a man cried out for his broken heart to once again be healed and happy.

Izzy sat against the wall leaning his ear against it, listening to the pitiful wails of a hurt man. Izzy began to cry as well. Because listening to the singer cry brought back terrible memories of Indiana and seeing Axl all beaten and bloody as his stepfather needed something or someone to take his anger out on. 

Izzy wished he could help his broken friend but the damage had been done. 

The next afternoon the band joined together for a talk on what they were to do. 

Axl didn't want to even talk about it. His mind was somewhere else. And the usual bright emerald color of his eyes had dulled, he was pale, and his hair was a mess. He went from taking great care of himself because that's what Izzy had wanted from him. To not taking care of himself at all. 

Izzy didn't know if he simply just could not care for himself knowing Izzy probably hated him and there would be no praise or even happiness coming from Axl if he did care for himself or if he was just too depressed about the band to not care for himself. 

"We need to discuss what we are going to do with the band, it's clear nothing is going right," Duff said. "I want to just quit and go home," Axl said dryly. "Axl, we must talk about this before coming to a decision." I don't believe this is what you want," Slash said. "But it is," Axl said. "Axl, let's talk for a bit," Duff said. "I don't wanna talk," Axl said trying to hide the whine in his voice. 

That whine that Izzy found adorable when something didn't go Axl's way. Axl hated that stupid whine he let out when he was upset because it made him feel weak but Izzy had always loved it. 

"You don't wanna do much of anything do you?" Steven asked. "I wanna go home," Axl said with eyes filling with tears. "You are home," Duff said softly. "No," Axl said shaking his head. "Indiana is my home and I wanna go back." "Axl, let's-" "DOES IT NOT GET THROUGH TO YOUR THICK HEAD THAT I DON'T WANNA TALK!" Axl yelled. "This was all just a mistake, running away and starting a band was just a big stupid ugly mistake. And curse me for ever thinking it to be possible, what I stupid boy I was." 

Axl rose to his feet and walked out the door leaving this life behind. He knew the band was far from breaking up as the band members could find someone better than Axl anyway. 

But as they sat in silence in that broken room they all knew no one could compare to Axl. He was Guns N Roses.