Next to Godliness

Father Paul

It was around Dusk, it was lightly cloudy, the sky was a darker blue but filled with highlights of orange and yellow. The air nipped and the wind played with your hair, it was crisp breathing in and your clothes weighed as they blew back slightly. You were walking home from work, where you lived with your older brother. The normal path you walked everyday, after the lame job you worked at everyday. Working at a supermarket wasn't exactly where you saw yourself working, it definitely wasn't the career you wanted. but it sufficed. To be completely honest you weren't sure what you wanted to with your life, after what happened in school and everything.

About a year ago you had dropped out of college, you were studying to be a youth pastor after spending so many years affiliated with the church you thought it was what you wanted to do. It was different then what you had expected, growing up everyone in the church had been so nice to you, they weren't at school. Everyone at your school was so rich, thin, preppy, and white, needless to say you didn't fully fit in. Being there changed how you felt about the church, you were ridiculed, harassed, beaten, and discriminated, but you put up with it. You thought that maybe it would all be worth it in the end, and that once you finally finished college you would be back somewhere kind, somewhere you could do what you felt you were meant to do. You were wrong. It only got worse at school, and the more you saw it there, the more you saw it everywhere.

It was all too much for you, and finally you had dropped out of school, and you hadn't been to a church since. It didn't mean you weren't still religious, you were trying not to be, but you couldn't help yourself. Thinking religiously was the way you were programmed, and as much as you tried to get away from it, you couldn't. You had thought about going back to church many times now, almost everyday when you walk past it. It was tempting to look inside or attend a mass, it was a whole new church people could be different here. You even found yourself walking towards it instinctively, the new priest had caught you a few times. The new priest, Father Paul, was only newer than you by about a month. You had moved here on Crockette Island late January, he had moved here in February. You'd never spoken to him, you had been kind of afraid, not of him necessarily, he had sort of a comforting and familiar presence. You were afraid of everyone else in the church, you didn't fit in at school, and you didn't want to find out if you fit in here.

You trailed towards the end of your usual path, you were almost home. Your brother Connor, sat in a small, shiny, yellow, plastic chair on the front porch of your house. The old wood of your weathered house looked warm and bright because of the sunset, and the chair looked slightly more orange than yellow too. He put his hand up still to greet you back home, he smiled and plopped it back on his knee.
"Hey y/n! how was work?" He asked leaning back in his chair.
"You know, the usual." you scoffed back to him, and sat yourself in the chair closest to him. You grabbed the pack of Camels on the arm of his chair, and pulled one out.
"That bad huh?" He chuckled as he lit your cigarette up for you. You've never been much of a smoker really, you even considered it kind of a sin. You weren't a fan of the sensation or the scratchy throat afterwards, but it was all a part of your sabotage towards your own religion.
"No, not really, just in the mood for a little, smoke." You hesitated at the word smoke, Connor just laughed at you. He didn't fully know everything that had happened with you, but he understood why you smoked, and found it quite silly.
"Oh whatever." He laughed in his chair and dusted off the ash of his cigarette. You just laughed with him, honestly you were a little too defeated after work to argue to defend your smoking.

"It was quite strange earlier today, the town priest came by and left this here for you." Connor held out a coffee colored letter with large, but neat print handwriting. "He kept going on about wanting new members for the church, and whatever." You grabbed the letter from his hand and looked to see what it said.
"That's weird, did he give one to everyone? And you said he asked for me specifically?" You looked back up at Connor confused and a little skeptical.
"He said it was for you, and i'm not sure if he has more? I mean, there was only this one in his hand."
"Okay okay." You sat back down and took another puff as you started to read the letter in your hand.

'Dear Y/N,
I've noticed the way you look at the church, and wander towards it's doors. Just know that if you'd ever like to actually venture inside we would love to have you. I'll even save you a seat for Sunday's mass, if you'd like.

- Love from Father Paul'

As you finished reading your letter, you couldn't help but feel a smile stretch across your face. Butterflies filled your stomach as you set the letter down and took another, longer puff of your cigarette.
"I think you have a visitor." Connor interjected and nudged you in the arm, he smirked and pointed over to the street.
"Oh, shoot." You exclaimed under your breath and subtly threw your cigarette to the side praying no one else saw it was in your hand. You quickly stood up and made your way down the steps of your porch, you hoped you didn't smell too much like smoke.
"Hello dear!" Father Paul smiled warmly and his whole face crinkled around his welcoming expression. His dark, wavy, feathery hair sat perfectly on his head, and complimented his sweet dark brown eyes.
"Hey Father, how are you?" You smiled up him, it was hard not to. He towered above you, but he radiated such sunshine that you couldn't help but smile back.
"I'm doing well, hun, thank you. How are you?" He looked surprised by the fact you knew his name, but he looked content nonetheless.
"I'm very good, thank you." You responded quite awkwardly, it has been a while since you had spoken to a priest like himself.
"Of course, you're very welcome. Did you get the letter I left for you?" He shrugged his shoulders and looked intently for a response.
"Yes, yes I did." You kind of giggled a little uncomfortable, you weren't quite sure how to respond.
"Good, i'm glad! I uh wanted to double check, and make sure you feel welcome. It's just, I know what it's like to be new in this town, and all." He explained and kind of waved his hands around, it was natural for him to move when he spoke, perks of being a priest you assumed.
"Yes, I do now, thank you," Your cheeks were hot, something about him was comforting, "I really appreciate that, Father." He blushed a little and smiled slightly more.
"I'm very glad, uhm please stop by the church anytime, I would love to see you there." He grabbed your shoulder and squeezed lightly, the sentiment of the touch filled your stomach with butterflies. He let go and his body shifted, he was getting ready to walk home maybe. You were disappointed by his decision to leave, but you felt a little relieved that this encounter was almost over.

"Hey uh, Priest!" Connor shouted from over on the porch. Father Paul's head turned quickly at the volume, and he looked over at Connor.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Connor asked just as loud as the last time. He had such poor etiquette you thought, incredibly worried about what the priest must think of the two of you.
"Well, uh," Father Paul seemed unsure of how to respond, he looked over to you for reassurance, to make sure you were okay with him staying. You smiled and nodded your head, and with that he looked back and agreed with Connor. "That sounds great, thank you Connor." Father Paul smiled and stepped back closer to you.
"Wonderful! I was just making some curry." Connor stood up from his little chair and waved for the two you to come inside for dinner, he put out his cigarette on the porch fence and he walked inside. Father Paul smiled down at you, put his hand on the small of your back and the two of you walked inside with butterflies in your stomachs.