Will there always be someone to save you?

Disclaimer and Statistics

A Little Disclaimer
So, something that I was worried about while writing this series was if I had made the mistake of romanticising the topic of assault and/or rape. Sexual assault and rape is a serious topic and I, by no means, want or intended to romanticise it.

What I really wanted to do was explore the ways a victim of assault could go through and how it could affect relationships and daily life. I also wanted to look into sexual assault and rape in the workplace because I don’t think it’s talked about that much. I really researched into this topic which is why I included things like grounding techniques, flashbacks, and how y/n documented what Dongsun did.

However as I was still worried about romanticising this, I do genuinely get confused about it, so I asked my instagram followers to give me their honest opinions. The main reason I was worried about it was because I didn’t want it to seem like the only way y/n was starting to heal was because Tae loved her and vice versa. I will mention a few things that people sent me but won’t mention their names.

Most of the people that replied said there wasn’t anything problematic. A couple have been through so much trauma and one of them mentioned it’s only natural to consider some people saviours, but it doesn’t mean those people are the sole reason that the victim survived or healed. I did explain that Tae wasn’t the one that saved her but was the one that stood by her side.

Another expressed that, in the story, Tae was still cautious when it came to physical touch and consent was always discussed. He never pushed her even if it was hurting him and only expressed what he was feeling when y/n pressed him. I also wrote that y/n eventually went to therapy, a healthy and real way to deal with trauma.

Then again, I had someone say that the ending could come across as romanticising, so that is why I included this disclaimer. It was their idea and they knew romanticising assault was never my intention. 

So it’s pretty obvious that everyone will have a different perspective on this matter. 

But I hope no misunderstandings cropped up and I hope you enjoyed the series and maybe found it helpful.

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This information is from the report ‘Still just a bit of banter?’ carried out by the Everyday Sexism Project and the Trades Union Congress. These statistics apply to the UK. I cannot even imagine what the statistics could be worldwide. This report investigates sexual harassment which includes verbal (sexual comments, jokes, emails or texts) and physical (unwanted touching, kissing and sexual assault).

The study surveyed over 1500 women. 52% have been victim to sexual harassment. For women aged 16-24 years old, the percentage rose to 63% with almost 20% of them reporting the person harassing them was their manager or someone of authority.

Sexual harassment is still an issue. 'Worryingly, 80% of the women affected did not report it, only 1% reporting it to a union rep'. This is because of a few different reasons. One being that they feared if they reported the harassment, it would negatively impact their career or work relationships. Secondly, they believed they wouldn’t be believed and thirdly, feelings of shame, anxiety and embarrassment stopped them from reporting.

The reason sexual harassment is still a problem is not the faults of the women not reporting.

So what can you do if you experience sexual harassment at work?

Like y/n did in this story, it is a good idea to keep track and document of any sexual harassment you have been a victim of (include dates, times and locations). You can think about (if you feel comfortable) speaking to the person who is harassing you, or lodging a formal grievance or complaint to your employer, or taking your employer to an employment tribunal.