The Artist and The Ex-King (a shrektic fanfic)

chaper oen

It had been 7 years since the hit movie, Shrek 3, and since then, Fiona had divorced poor shrek and went off to live with her mother (SHREK SPOILERS!!! her dad turned into a frog and died remember?) and her little shreklings.

Shrek had slowly turned into a stereotypical divorced dad, and was sitting in his iconic wooden toilet stall thing drinking some mud beer, (or whatever tf ogres drink to get drunk) when suddenly, he heard someone knocking on the door of his swamp hut thing.

*knock knock* "Uhm, Ex-King Shrek? Are you in there-?"

"No!" Shrek shouted aggressively, "Im havin a piss! Leave it outside!"

"Alright sir-"

"Now," Shrek was mad, "GET OUT OF MY SWAAAAAAMP!"

The guy ran away fast

Shrek got up and sighed, then he went to see whatever that guy was calling for.

It was a letter,

Dear Shrek,

I heard about what happened with you and Fiona, and i wanna say, im so sorry for you.
But anyways, I was thinking, can i be the onion to your shrek?

From Cryptic xx ;)

Shrek was blushing hard and he had butterflies in his stomach. Was it who he thought it was? Was it really the famous artist, Miss Cryptic Ineedtherapy Cult?

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He had been staring at the letter for a while, reading the little amount of words over and over. He finally came to a decision, he was going to write back.

Dear Cryptic,

Thanks for the letter, and uh sure. we can date and stuff... thats all ive got for now uh.. cya

-Shrek

He found their PO box online wrote it on the envelope, then he stood for a while, questioning wether or not he should send this to his celebrity crush.

After he finally worked up enough courage, he sent it away to her.

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(yall this is a joke and its for my friends so read on if you want you mightnt understand a few things but just go along with it-)