IMPORTANT- this story contains triggering subjects. like: talk about eating disorders ( specifically anorexia and bulimia ), depression, self harm, and suicidal thoughts. please exit out this story if you're in recovery and or the topics in this story trigger you!!
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it had been 8 months since the war. and Hogwarts was already rebuilt as good as new. first years going in same as if it were still 1991 before anything had happened. second, third, and above going in to finish there years since the war.
but this year, it didn't stop at seventh years. you see, Mcgonagall had sent out a letter to the previous seventh years saying they are welcome to come back to finish everything they weren't able to when the war had struck.
all the usuals you'd expect to come back did.
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Pansy Parkinson: list goes on.
but the one person students hadn't expected to come back was Draco Malfoy.
they wouldn't have thought anything about him coming back if it weren't for him being apart of the dark side during the war. betraying their school, there home.
but they didn't realize Draco had his side of the story, too. explanations on why he did what he did, and why he agreed to be apart of something so evil, so terrifying. but who would listen to Draco if he tried to explain? all they thought of him now was a death eater helping Voldemort in the war.
it did make Draco quite upset but he tried to act as if it were another year at hogwarts like before. except that was hard. because now instead of him bringing on the bullying, the bullying was being brought to him. but yet again he tried ignoring. which surprisingly enough Draco found distractions. including one of his very old habits. an unhealthy one. unhealthy but he couldn't stop it because he loved the form of control and slow suicide it brought him.
because you see, Draco Malfoy was anorexic. he has been since the fourth year when his whole life started to go downhill.
Draco never found himself fat, no but neither found himself slim. he wouldn't have noticed anything if he didn't have enough stress enough in fourth year, and hadn't found that dumb muggle scale below his mother's cabinet in the washroom. finding himself at 121lbs that day. he didn't know why he felt that so disgusting. maybe because he had overheard a muggle born girl talking about her weight a couple days before it was the holidays. saying she only weighted 114lbs. Draco didn't blame that girl for how he is now. how could he? she was only taking about it to her mate not him no one else but that girls friend. it's Draco himself he blames for deciding to take it so personally to something that wasn't even directed towards him.
now he suffers from own consequences because of it.
Draco wasn't ashamed but he wasn't proud. he would be proud to tell people he's now only 105lbs, mind you too underweight for a bloke his height and his age, but he wouldn't go shouting saying he loses pounds by starving and vomiting whenever he did eat.
but he did think he looked good. good for himself, but not quite good enough for the bloke he's fancied since the fifth year.
yeah, that too; Draco was gay.
had crushes on many boys. he found them quite fabulous and some he might even say, lovely.
he's fancied that boy in Ravenclaw named Marcus White. fancied Professor Lockheart as if he were one of the girls, Hermione Granger or Susan Bones. fancied that boy he was partnered with in third year for potions.
but this crush wasn't like those. this one has lasted longer then others. this one, this one really made him hate himself for ever thinking it was okay to like this bloke.
because that bloke was Harry Potter.
sworn enemy, yeah? apparently more than that to Draco.
he didn't know what did it for him to like him so much. could've been the way his emerald eyes lit up so bright whenever he found happiness, or the way his hair was always so messy that it looked soft to play with, or the way his body was toned. all Draco knew was that he fancied Harry Potter even when knowing he couldn't have him because it wouldn't ever happen. speaking since, well, the war. Potter would never date an ex death eater let alone his enemy since the first year.
but maybe, just maybe, Draco thought,, if he lost another pound or two Harry would notice him. Harry would notice how slim he became. how lovely he think he looks. then maybe, it would happen.
Draco wrote about that thought over and over again in his journal, with a cup of black coffee by his side to suppress his hunger since he would never eat during meals like the rest.
