The Ghost Who Watches Me

Chapter 5

Luke's P.O.V

Scarlett nestles into my shoulder and a few minutes later her breathing slows and I can tell she is asleep. It's odd. I haven't slept in the longest of times, I don't need to. It must be nice to be able to rest your brain for a few hours. Maybe I could try it.

I close my eyes and try to focus on clearing my mind, hoping it works. I stay like that for a whole hour with no victory. Well, I tried. I swing my legs over the side of the bed before getting up, trying not to wake Scarlett. She moans but doesn't wake. I stand, staring at her. It's interesting to watch her sleep. It gives me peace when I see her relaxed and content little face while she sleeps. There is no stress, no worry, no pain on her face, only peace and happiness. I smile. If only she could be like that more often. Well she has been like that more often. I remember saying to myself I would not show myself to her when I first started watching her. At that time, I thought it would be best as it would mean less stress for her. I mean, who wouldn't get stressed if a ghost suddenly appeared to them saying they've been watching you for months? Yeah, so my thought had reason. But all that was before I actually got to see how much she goes through. Today, when I saw her own mother kick her until she bled, I couldn't stop myself. I had to show her, I had to tell her that she's not alone. And I'm glad I did, because if I hadn't then I wouldn't be seeing her smiling the way she is now. 

While I was in my thoughtful trance I had walked over to the window and now I stared into the dark night. Up there is a place I once thought I wanted to be, but not anymore. I always thought suicide was the worse decision I could have made, but it was the only thing I could do. It was either that or force a murderer to kill me. I remember telling myself that I was doing the right thing. I didn't want to continue with my life so I did the only thing I could. I slit my throat to end it all. The oddest thing about my whole situation is I remember everything in such great detail. I've only met a few ghosts in my life but I have asked them all, it's just something you have to deal with as a ghost, a way of punishing yourself for ending your own life. I remember the warm tears that streamed down my face when I picked up the knife. I remember the sharpness of it, the way it was so clean I could see my tear covered face. I remember the pain that surged through my body when the knife pierced my pale skin. I remember the way my eyes closed for the last time as my life bled out of me and onto my bed covers. For years after I killed myself I was terrified. I didn't know why I wasn't dead, why I wasn't seen by anybody. I was afraid and that time I couldn't kill myself. Eventually, I stumbled across another ghost who explained everything. I still remember him, he was called Joe and he ran out in front of a car to kill himself. He said we all go through the same process as me. We die, we get confused, we feel helpless, we find another ghost, they explain, we explain to other new ghosts. Simple. And that's how I spent the rest of my time as a ghost, helping others and watching humans, until I saw Scarlett. Something about her made me feel the need to help her. I was drawn to her and I started feeling for her. I felt her pain and I needed to help her. And now I watch her as she sleeps. 

I hear movement behind me and turn round to see her roll over, shivering. I pick up a blanket that was draped over her chair and carefully place it over her cold body. She smiles and curls into the blanket but continues her shivering. She does it most nights, shivers. Probably from her lack of a good diet. Why does she have to live like this? I sit down next to her and I am about to touch her when I realise. Why do I have to be so cold? If I was warm, I would pull her into my arms until the shivers leave her. I would hold her until she forgets everything. But I can't. 

Searching the room for anything to cover my skin, I open her wardrobe. Wow, I thought most sixteen year old girls had wardrobes full of clothes and shoes but not this one. She has maybe a couple t-shirts and long sleeve tops. A black hoodie, a couple dark skinny jeans some purple trainers and her school uniform are the only other things in there. I guess her parents don't like her going out a lot. How could they do this to her? 

"Stay away..." what? "NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME! I'M BEGGING YOU!" 

I turn to Scarlett to see her thrashing about on the bed. The sheets tangled with her sweat covered body. She screams. 

"Scarlett! Wake up!" I run over and pull her into my arms as she sobs as silently as she can. "Sshhhh, it's ok" I sooth her as she cries into my shoulder. 

"I haven't had nightmares in weeks, I thought they were gone, but they came back" she breaks again into another round of crying. I stroke her smooth black hair and her tremors calm.

"Would you feel better if you told me?" she nodded. 

"I was running down a long dark corridor, it felt like it would go on forever. Then suddenly my mum appeared in front of me. Her heels were swords and I tried to stop running but my legs wouldn't let me. I fell at her feet before she started uttering words. "Worthless" "brat" "you shouldn't have been born", things like that" the tears start pouring down her face again but she controls her shaking. "Then...she starts kicking me, stabbing me with her shoes. I can feel the pain but I don't die. Every single time she kicked me the swords went straight through me. I could see my blood all over the floor..." she trails off and stares at the floor.  

We sit in silence, my arm around her, her head on my shoulder. Her tears eventually stop and she pulls back, yawning. 

"You should get some sleep, Scarlett" 

"I don't think I will be able to sleep, ever" 

"Just try, ok?" 

"Stay with me?" she says after a moment's silence 

"I'm always here" 

"No, I mean, stay in my bed?" she goes slightly red and I chuckle. 

"Fine, but aren't I a bit cold?" 

"Yes, but I find it comforting. I find you comforting" she says quickly and goes even redder. 

I say nothing more and we both pull the covers over us and she snuggles into me. I close my eyes so her peaceful smile is the last thing i see tonight.