No Rhyme or Reason

Chapter 11

"Jax came over to your place to apologize?" Anna asked when I got to her dorm room the next night and explained what had happened with Jax.

"Yes."

"And he hung out all night with you and your grandparents?"

"Yes."

"And he asked you to go to the club tonight and meet him?"

"Yes!" I laughed.

Her eyes widened. "Wow."

"I know."

"I can't believe he asked you on a date."

I froze. "Do you think it's a date?"

She smiled. "Yes, it's absolutely a date."

I bit the inside of my cheek. 

"So you're going to go, right?"

"I told him yes, but I don't know..." I trailed off and squinted when I saw her reaction.

"Liv!" Ana said and gave me a pointed look. "Why not?"

"What would we do?" I threw my hands in the air. "It's not like you can chat and have a normal conversation over the loud music at that club. What does that leave? Drinking? No thank you. Dancing with him?" I stopped talking, my cheeks going red.

She stared at me. "You're telling me that you don't want to dance with Jax?" 

"Like, grinding...?" I trailed off.

"No, salsa dancing. Yes grinding," she said.

I shook my head. "No way."

She narrowed her eyes. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not tempted to dance with him."

I swallowed and looked away. I could practically hear her smiling.

"I wouldn't be good at it," I said and looked back at her. "Plus, I doubt he even wants to dance with me. Have you seen the girls he hangs out with there?"

"And?" she raised her eyebrows.

I shook my head. "I don't belong there," I said quietly.

Ana frowned and I looked down at my feet.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

I studied my shoe laces. "I feel like I waited too long, and now I can't do anything normal, act normal, be normal." I let out a breath. God, I sounded so pathetic. "I'm too nervous to dance. I don't like big crowds. I don't know what to wear and I don't feel comfortable in my own clothes. I feel like I stick out and if I went there, everyone, including Jax, would know I didn't belong there."

"Liv," Ana said in a soft voice. I looked up and she had a frown on her face. "You are normal," she said.

I shook my head. "I'm not."

Ana put an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "What is normal anyways? Being normal is boring. It's never too late for anything, and you do belong there Liv, just as much as anyone else. You just need to believe that you do. You know my motto."

I laughed and wiped a lone tear that had fallen down my cheek. "Act confident and no one will question you."

She smiled triumphantly. "Exactly."

I sniffed and nodded my head.

"Why do you wear the clothes that you wear?" Ana asked me after a moment of silence.

"What?" I frowned. 

"Your clothes," she said. "Why do you wear them?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I just picked out the cheapest, plain clothing I could find." Clothes were never a priority to spend our money on.