waited a long time - a jake kiszka fic

three

         - "shit!"

you woke up with a jolt from a bad dream.
it took twenty minutes for your breathing to slow, and a further twenty minutes to realise you weren't going to go back to sleep. instead, you got up and checked your phone, which read 5:46 am.

ronnie's slow and even breathing tells you that you didn't wake her up, but you didn't want to chance it any further so you left the room and ventured to the kitchen/living room. the table and counters were still littered with beer bottles, shot glasses and ashtrays from the night before- there was even some pineapple left out which danny forgot to put away after slicing it up.

you began to clear everything away as quietly as you could, wiping surfaces down once they were empty. it only took five or ten minutes, so you were frustrated when the task was over. you had nothing to occupy your mind.

you opened the patio door to let some air in, and eyed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter but decided against it at this early hour. instead you sat on the deck, watching the sky evolve into a watercolour of pastel pinks, purples and blues. the air was cold but refreshing against your bare skin as you only had on a small tank top and boxer shorts which you had stolen from josh (or jake, they often share clothes) many years ago.

after almost an hour, you went back inside to start some coffee. it was almost 7:00 am and sunlight was beginning to filter into the cabin.

you could hear someone stirring and soft footsteps emerging from the hallway. you sat expectantly with a cup of coffee poured for yourself and whoever it was coming in.

danny. lovely danny, with his curly hair in a wild frizzy ponytail. he's wearing a tank top with cuts all the way down the sides and boxers with turtles on them. his eyes were still bleary but his face lit up when he saw the awaiting coffee on the counter.

"ahh pocket, you always know how to make a man happy! did you clean up in here too?" he says appreciatively, looking around. you quietly laughed, nodding.

danny had always been a kind and wise friend to you. you loved him and his girlfriend mackenzi dearly. your bond was special because you were the two non-kiszkas of the group, and could relate to the separation you felt sometimes.

as you sat in comfortable silence, you could hear more noises and thumps as the others woke up. an annoyed sam telling josh to fuck off. a hyperactive josh springing out of bed. ronnie yawning.

you got up to pour more coffee for yourself and danny, and made extra mugs for the others- all individually how they liked it. ronnie liked no sugar and cream, sam and jake preferred it black, and josh enjoyed almost too much sugar and cream in his.

they slowly filed into the room in their pyjamas, shuffling their feet on the cold floor and yawning.

josh gave you a large smile, bounding over to give you a hug. you and josh were definitely the closest; after all, he did introduce you to the family. he shared his love and affection with physical touch, smiles and the occasional kiss on the cheek. because of this, people believe you two were secretly in love, but it had never been like that. he was your protector, your brother. and besides, he knew about your thing for jake and you had a sneaking suspicion that he was actually rooting for you to get together. but that won't happen.

finally jake made his way in, wearing nothing but his boxers, which made your head feel fuzzy. you made an effort to not look in his direction or else you knew your eyes would linger too long. it was far too early to be thinking like that anyways.

once it turned 8:30 am you felt it was slightly more acceptable to go for a smoke, so you left to go to the deck outside your room away from the others and enjoy a cigarette in peace.

you heard footsteps following you as you opened the patio door and turned to find jake standing in the doorway of your room, still clad in only his boxers. you turned back and walked onto the deck, rolling your eyes. why can't i just have a moment to myself?

he followed you out and leaned against the wood fence, holding his hand out for a cigarette. you sighed and gave him one.

"are those my boxer shorts, y/n?" he asks, tapping your hip. you jump away as if he electrocuted you, looking down at your outfit. you were, now that you think of it, quite scantily clad.
"uh, maybe? i stole them a long time ago and they're just so comfy i kept them. do you want me to return them?" you're still looking at your own outfit.
"no, keep them. i like when you wear them." his voice was a little bit lower than you were used to, and hearing him say something like that was more sensual than you could really handle.

you lit jake's cigarette and went to light your own, but he stopped you. instead, he leaned over and pressed the tip of his onto yours, lighting it for you, looking deeply into your eyes the whole time. you felt your stomach quiver.

okay, that was hot.

you remain in silence for the duration of your cigarettes, putting them out once finished. you turn to leave, but he steps into your path, preventing you from leaving.

"can i help you, jacob?" you snap, frustrated by the tensions caused by a damn cigarette.
"just- stay out here for a little longer. please." he pleads. you sigh and nod okay. you both go back to leaning on the fence. he shuffles closer so your bare shoulders are touching, and you stay like that for almost five minutes. you hope he can't feel how quick your heart is beating.

you reach up to play with the pendant of your favourite necklace, which is a blue and green crystal with silver wire wrapped around it. josh gave it to you for your 18th birthday, along with a card you still keep in your nightstand to this day.

"you wear that all the time. is it your favourite?" jake asks, watching you pull the crystal from side to side. you smile and nod.
"yeah, josh got it for me for a birthday. it's sort of like a good luck charm now, always carrying him with me."
"that's nice. i remember helping him choose it out. he didn't know if you would want a pink one or that one, but i said you'd probably want the green. it looks good on you." his eyes rest on the necklace and then move down towards your chest, but he catches himself and looks at the trees instead.

jake actually chose this necklace. not josh? he knew you would prefer the green. it turns out, all of these years, you'd been carrying a piece of jake with you. maybe he payed more attention than you thought.

another silent pause ensues, and you can't help but look over to his face. his eyes are following birds in the trees. you watched his lips curl into a small, contented smile. his eyes flick over to meet yours, and he shuffles a little bit closer. now your forearms are touching, your fingers barely grazing the back of his hand.

you're suddenly very aware of how close his face is to yours, and instinctively you look at his lips. you feel yourself leaning in closer, and he does too, until you're so close your noses touch. jake is still staring deeply into your eyes, but he begins to lower his lids and lean in even closer. your lips are about to touch until- ronnie walks in, whistling.

you jump away from each other, clearing your throats and looking in opposite directions to attempt to appear completely normal. she doesn't notice your odd behaviour, and asks you where she put her sweater last night. you leave the deck to help her find it, leaving jake alone to watch the birds again.