The Baby-Daddy: A Tyler Seguin Fanfiction

35. Tyler

When I finished therapy and got all my shit together, I started changing my life and prepared not just my own self but my whole life style, my house, my schedules and my routines. Completely transforming myself into being a father even though I haven't met my son yet, since I am completely positive that soon Keya will come back and let me meet him.

I renovated my house into a child-friendly house, built my son his own room, prepared all the things that he will need to play the family sport together. In the past years, I have been doing all of those in the hopes of meeting my son and reuniting with Keya.

However, there are also days where I thought to myself that I am being ridiculous, I became hopeless-- drowning myself with tears every night due to regrets. Even overthinking that what if Keya won't let me meet my son and yet... I was indeed right.

My head still cannot process what I have heard. I keep on repeating it to my head and even saying it out loud to fully sync it in.

"Died." I repeated.

My son died.

He is dead. I won't be able to meet my son then.

I seriously don't know how to react but I felt my knees weakened causing me to fall on the floor. The whole room is silent. I only hear my own breathing.

This is all my fault. I know that these was all my fault but I still asked Keya what exactly happened.

It's a gut-wrenching one!

My son arrived dead when she gave birth, she doesn't remembered anything much since she was passed out the whole time.

My knees are still weak, I feel like my whole body isn't working but I did stood up and ready to leave.

"I gotta go now." I told Keya as I wipe my tears. "I am so sorry."

Somehow, I managed to go back inside my room and throw myself immediately on the bed. I badly wanted to drink a hard liquor right now but the only available beverage inside my hotel room is only but a few cans of beer and a complimentary champagne, but that will suffice!

I removed my suit for me to feel a bit more comfortable lying in bed, drowning myself with tears. My son died due to how huge of an ass I am, Keya probably have suffered hard and felt really hurt more than what I am feeling right now.

All of the things that I have been looking forward to will then just be a pure imagination. Fuck! All of what I have been feeling right now is more like a déja vu but this hurts even more.

Before when Elise aborted the baby I thought was mine fucked me up, let alone this! My own flesh and blood died on birth, that is for sure caused by different stress I gave on Keya during her pregnancy!

It was all my fault... My damn fault!

**

I woke up from the loud bang coming from my door. As I check on the clock on the bed side table, it's already past eight in the morning which means I only have few more minutes left right before I became officially late for the media day.

I cried myself to sleep and did not fall asleep until four a.m.. The news still fucking hurts but I have to move and start a new day!

I immediately walked to the door and opened it, it's Jamie.

"What took you so long? Did you just woke up?" He asked completely annoyed as he walked past me. "What did you do last night? You left early."

Instead of hustling, I sat on the edge of the bed sighing.

"What's going on?" He asks further. Yup! He is not just a friend but he also acts as my big brother, he loves to nag at me on and off the ice.

I gathered all my shit right before responding. "Keya and I talked last night."

"Oh." He voiced sounding a bit surprised. "What happened?"

Right before I can spill any word, I found myself crying like a five year old kid again. Damn it! I just don't know how to handle my tears these days.

"My son died."

"Fuck!" I heard him hissed.

I nodded as I wipe my tears. "Yeah. Totally fucked!"

Jamie sat on the edge of the bed next to me, wearing a completely shocked face. I know what he's feeling right now, he is disappointed too for sure!

Aside from my family Jamie was also there for me when my whole life became shittier when Keya left. He was also there on my recovery and sometimes accompanies me when I need to go for my therapy sessions. He helped me build and renovated Keya's room into a play room because he was also excited to meet my son, and yet here we are!

"I'm so sorry to hear that Segs." Jamie said with complete sympathy as he taps me on my back.

"It was all my fault." I said. "If I wasn't a huge ass selfish prick before, my son would have been alive!"

"No, don't say that Ty." Jamie says. "Everything happens for a reason, shit happens all the time but we don't have to blame ourselves-- especially on things that we can't control."

"Yeah, but Keya hated me more than ever because of it." I replied. I want to patch things up with Keya. "I want us to be in good terms but that won't happen, I guess. Unless I brought our son back to life."

"Give her more time." Jamie said right before chuckling. "You're good with pleasing the ladies, just be there for her always."

I sighed somehow being able to manage a smile. "I want to set things right with her-- be her friend and we'll heal together from the lose, I guess..."

Jamie starts to grin even wider. "I'm so sorry, but you really surprise me everyday about all of these right now!"

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess the therapy really helped."

"Now, get dressed! We're late."

"I'm thinking about skipping the media day today." I announced.

"Why?"

"I need to talk to my family about all of these." I said. "Will you cover me up?"

I heard him sigh right before responding. "No problem bro. Call me then if you need anything!"

"Thanks man!" I said slapping his hands.

When Jamie left, I called my mom to come meet me at one of the restaurants in town. Telling her to come gather the whole family for my announcement, for sure I'll give my old folks another grandchild heartbreak but it is, what it is.