Heartbreak Girl

dance dance revelation(s)

What do I do to relieve stress?

I dance.

Before moving to Japan when I was 10, I was on a competition team in America. When I moved here, I was on a new team until I quit half a year ago. Now, I just do it in my basement when I need to.

And I desperately need to now.

I'm downstairs, dancing. I'm lost in my own world, surrounded by the music. Just me and my imagination. I'm not really in my basement anymore.

It's all going to be ok. My quirk, my place at UA, my new friends, my mom.

I wish I didn't need to worry about not being the best. Or that I understood I won't be the top of the class or the Number 1 hero. But I don't.

The nagging feeling that I can be better starts eating away at me, right when I'm dancing. I stop my music and lay on the ground, facing the ceiling. It's spinning. That can't be good.

I grab my phone and scroll mindlessly, trying to distract myself. I notice I have an unread text, and I swipe to read the notification. It's from Kirishima.

can you help me with something?

A little ominous, but ok.

yeah what's up?

I reply.

I see that's he's texting, and I watch the screen until his response shows up.

um

Then a second later,

i want to ask aj out but i'm not sure how

Oh.

I stare at it and call him in response.

"Hey," Kiri picks up after the first ring.

"I need the whole story," I say.

I mean, I pretty much know the story. But I need him to talk, tell a story. Maybe that anxious feeling I have will go away. It seems worse, now, actually. Maybe it's an omen.

"I mean, she's pretty. And so nice, Maris. And funny. I know we've barely known her, but I think I'm going to ask her out. I know I would regret it if I never did. So....yeah. Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"No! I mean, I totally get why you would ask her out. Do it!"

"But how?"

"Ok...well uh I'm not a dating expert," I start, "but if I were you I would make it casual. Since you don't know each other that well yet, don't try to make a big personal thing. Unless you know she likes that, then yeah go crazy."

"And how should I do that?"

"Literally just talk to her"

"Okay..." he stops to think, "what if you came over and helped me?"

"Like in a 2000's movie? Are we gonna make a vision board?"

Less than a second later I apologize for that.

"Anyways, I don't think my mom would let me. I would love to though," I add.

"Oh....ok. I'll text you if I need anything?" He says it like a question.

"Yeah, I'll see you later I guess."

I'm going to see him in like two days—why does turning him down make me feel like a bad person?
It's not that I don't want to help him ask AJ out, I just can't? But the pit in my stomach is telling me I'm intentionally avoiding him.

I go back to dancing.

________________________

A half hour later, my mom comes down.

"I'm glad you're dancing again!" She says.

She says it like a compliment but there's more to it. I'm just not sure what. Not yet.

"It keeps you skinny! When you cut out gymnastics and stopped competing for dance, I was worried!"

There it is.

"What do you mean? I'm still rock climbing, that keeps me in shape" I say.

"That's more for training, dance is...." She never finishes that sentence.

"Ok. That means a lot mom. Thanks."

"Not that training is bad!" She says, trying to save herself.

"It's just that appearances matter a lot when being a pro hero!" She goes on, "Why do you think I've made it this far?"

Training matters more than appearances? But ok <3.

"Because you have money?" I say, without an ounce of sarcasm.

She pauses.

"I didn't become a hero just for the money, Maris. You know that."

"Do I? Because to me, it seems like you did. First, I didn't even say anything about that and you jump to defend yourself. Second, all you seem to care about is your income. And you don't need to. You inherited  a ton because your 'comes from old money' dad  left it to you, and Dad has a good job! Yet, you don't seem to care for civilians or people in general as much as your payment."

"Don't talk to your mother like that. If you do again, I'm keeping you home the day your class goes to USJ. Understand?" She says, scarily quiet.

Ok, maybe I was a bit harsh. But, I wasn't wrong. Yes, she wanted to do it just for money. But I could've been nicer about how I feel, I think.

I nod.

"Yeah, I understand. Sorry. I won't do it again."

I just want to go to USJ.

She seems satisfied with that answer. She looks around one more time (why exactly? I'm not sure) and heads upstairs.

I sit in silence for a minute, then clean up the room before sitting back down again.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to dance again today, or probably the rest of the week. I don't even want to be in this house.

Then I get a notification. It's a text from Kiri—a picture of a whiteboard that just says "Vision Board" on top.

I find myself smiling without even realizing. Now I know what to do.

so i changed my mind

I text.
He starts to respond, then stops.

can i still come over? seems like you might need some help with that